Souls of Hip Hop

B-Boy El Nino & Carolina Diaz

May 05, 2020 B-Boy El Nino Season 1 Episode 1
Souls of Hip Hop
B-Boy El Nino & Carolina Diaz
Chapters
1:07
How would your parents describe what you do?
4:46
What does it take to be the best?
10:05
Entrepreneurship
19:28
How did you two meet?
24:50
Family reaction to a very young couple
28:24
Relationship rules
34:32
Influences
42:00
Growing up in Boston
47:32
Next goals
52:08
Power couple
55:24
Mental health
59:31
What is Hip Hop to you?
Souls of Hip Hop
B-Boy El Nino & Carolina Diaz
May 05, 2020 Season 1 Episode 1
B-Boy El Nino

On our first episode, we welcome Carolina and Alex Diaz. They are married and have an adorable 5-year old son. 

Carolina is a seasoned HR professional who holds a Master’s degree in Psychology and runs her own online store for women apparel called Lolita by Lola. 

Alex also known as Pookie or B-Boy El Nino is one of the most elite professional dancers in the world. He has won numerous international championships, is the president of the legendary Floor Lords Crew, and also represents Squadron and Boogie Brats. Last but not least, he is an event promoter and owner of the clothing brand Visionary Lifestyle.
 
Where you can find El Nino: 
www.instagram.com/bboyelnino/ 
www.instagram.com/floorlordsboston/ 
https://shopvisionaries.com/ 
 
Where you can find Carolina: 
www.instagram.com/carolina.img/ 
www.etsy.com/shop/lolitabylola/ 
 
Also you can check out El Nino's song "It's breaking" here: 
https://youtu.be/qN70YpCl148 

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soulsofhiphop)

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

On our first episode, we welcome Carolina and Alex Diaz. They are married and have an adorable 5-year old son. 

Carolina is a seasoned HR professional who holds a Master’s degree in Psychology and runs her own online store for women apparel called Lolita by Lola. 

Alex also known as Pookie or B-Boy El Nino is one of the most elite professional dancers in the world. He has won numerous international championships, is the president of the legendary Floor Lords Crew, and also represents Squadron and Boogie Brats. Last but not least, he is an event promoter and owner of the clothing brand Visionary Lifestyle.
 
Where you can find El Nino: 
www.instagram.com/bboyelnino/ 
www.instagram.com/floorlordsboston/ 
https://shopvisionaries.com/ 
 
Where you can find Carolina: 
www.instagram.com/carolina.img/ 
www.etsy.com/shop/lolitabylola/ 
 
Also you can check out El Nino's song "It's breaking" here: 
https://youtu.be/qN70YpCl148 

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soulsofhiphop)

spk_1:   0:03
Welcome to souls of hip hop - the podcast for hip hop heads. The aim is to bring inspiring people together to share their wisdom, passion and their stories. My name is Candy, and I'm DJ Razor Cut.  Together we are Soulidarity - connecting souls organically. On today's show we welcome Carolina and Alex Diaz. They're a married couple and have an adorable five year old son. Carolina is a seasoned HR professional, holds a master's degree in psychology and runs her own online store for women apparel, called Lolita by Lola. Alex also known as Pooky, or B Boy, El Nino is one of the most elite professional dancers in the world. He has won numerous international championships, is the president of the legendary Floor Lords crew and also represents Squadron and Boogie brats. Last but not least, he is an event promoter and owner of the clothing brand Visionary lifestyle. Welcome to the show!

spk_1:   1:07


spk_3:   1:10
How would your parents describe what you do?

spk_2:   1:20
I wonder how your parents would describe what I do. I think they are still confused.

spk_0:   1:26
What my parents would say about me? They think I work too much. They think I spend too much hours on the computer and they're not sure what I'm doing. They would say that she talks to a lot of people every day and handles their paychecks, even though that's not what I do. Just the human resources person. I don't cut people's checks, but to my parents, I'm the payroll person, everywhere I've worked for.

spk_3:   1:54
So what do you do?

spk_0:   1:56
Um, I do my very best to make sure that all of the employees and whatever organization I'm working with are happy from a well being standpoint, but also, um, benefits and just making sure that their heard or they feel heard and they feel happy there. We spend most of our time at work, so I want to make sure that they're happy at work because that translates into their personal life as well. So I spend a lot of time talking to different people, the industry. I work in child care. So I have over seventy childcare centers in Massachusetts, about 50 teachers each center, so part of my job is visiting all of these centers and hearing people tell me how it's that they are on we doing something about it to make them feel better, but it's a hard job, is very emotional also because you're hearing a lot of people's personal information and all the things that are going on at home and how we can possibly help them. But it's also rewarding to see where someone started and where they could be from a performance standpoint. So it's it's really great and that my parents would describe what Pooky does, they'd answer that he dances on his head and he travels the world.

spk_2:   3:16


spk_3:   3:17
You know, my parents have always been very supportive of my dancing, of me being a B boy. I think it didn't really come to us like as a surprise for them. When I started pursuing it, like as an actual career, it kind of just naturally happened for me. Um, I'm really early, too, cause I guess you could say I started my career as a dancer, like pretty early. So again, it's something that you know my parents just had to get used to. Um, you know, my mom was always I think she was always very supportive and just wanted me to be happy. I think my dad at first was like very like, skeptical, like my Dad wanted me to go to college and, you know, come a lawyer or something like that. But, you know, when straight out of out of high school is like, I remember having a conversation with Carolina about it, and I was just like, Well, should I should go to college. She's like, for what? I like to do what she's like. This is your destiny. Like your You're a dancer. Your be really And this is your passion. I would pursue that if I was you. And, um, yes, that's that's what I did, you know? And I think my parents air happy. You know, they're very happy. I would say with the way things too, proud off the both of us, I think.   

spk_3:   4:46
What does it take to be the best in the world? 

spk_3:   4:55
Like Float said, I really don't believe there is the best in the world. I think not taking no for an answer is a good quality. Like you really want something. You keep striving until you get it. And just like anything you do like when you first start off, you're not gonna be that good at it. But if you really want and is something that you want, you're gonna put the time, energy and dedication into it until you get what you want out of it. But I definitely think qualities, you know, qualities like being as dedicated as you can be to it, you know, trying to dedicate a certain amount of time every day to that craft. Or, you know, that passion or whatever it is that you're doing, For example, for me trying to stay on top on be physically in shape, you know, requires me, like getting off a plane in China, checking into the hotel room, taking a nap and then getting up being like Okay, well, let me go to the gym. Like, get 30 minutes in. Even though you're, like, tired, you know, I don't really want to do it. Sometimes you just gotta get up and do it. But I noticed, like, on days, even when I don't want to practice, You know, once you get your butt up, get out the door, get to practice, You know, you end up having a good session. And so that's one thing I realized like, just try and dedicate time to your craft and you'll be all right.

spk_1:   6:17
Are there any resource is that you would recommend to a new B boy and B girl that is interested in becoming a professional dancer.

spk_3:   6:28
You know, I always saw a lot of people, like, if you try and like, surround yourself with people you can learn from, you know? And I know some people live in like, rural areas or like don't really have bogeys close to them. So in that case, I would say, like, try and travel get inspired because for me, you know, traveling is like, I feel like what keeps me inspired seeing young kids and like just new people coming up in being hungry reminds me of when I was at that stage on. And you know, that keeps me going. So I always tell people those two things, like, try to find an OG or, like, you know, somebody that could take you under their wing and teach you correct way rather than like trying to learn off you to which a lot of kids are doing Now it feels kind of the wrong row, which is the easy thing some, some, some people. I don't really have a choice, like all they have is YouTube. But I would say, you know, when events, big events or anything like that come close to your city or something like that, like try to go, you know, because it didn't inspire you. And I'm sure this workshop there's something going on where you can like games of knowledge from that. Or if you don't have that around, you just learn the history.

spk_3:   7:42
Yeah, for sure, for sure. I think one thing that is different to now is like, you know, Carolina is not even in our world, but she knows. And she's aware, you know, that of what's going on in the seed now. And I feel like, Ah, lot of the dancers of the B boys and B girls that are coming coming up now or just might have watched Red Bull BC one and that's what they saw. And they only know about breaking like they're not hip hop heads. Where we were coming up. We were like hip hop heads first and then the element we fell in love. We just so happen to be like breaking you know, but all of us, you know, I've tried every element you got being like I tried graffiti. I tried rapping, you know, And I still wrapped for fun and whatever graffiti I stopped cause I was straight trash. So I tried it exciting on beat boxing.

spk_2:   8:31
 But you were just wrapping on a, uh, record. They just came out, right?

spk_3:   8:42
Yeah with MG, it's called It's breaking. And it was funny. Like MG hit me up. He's like, Yo, let's do a song When you get here to Prague it's gonna be about like I'm trying to fix the You know, the word given to dance by the media in the eighties Break dancing We're going to try to fix that. And, like, I tell people that it's not called break dancing. It's called breaking. And that was the whole concept of the song. And I was just like all right, Sure cool. I didn't know like

spk_2:   9:10
was gonna, like, blow up, like the way it dio this guy tens of thousands of views, like on YouTube or whatever, but it was fun. It was just something that was supernatural. We just like we knocked the song out in a day. And then we shot the video in two days and, yeah, it was pretty dog. Glad I did it because of the message behind it and like, it kind of put that bug back at me for, like, rapping and like, making beats like I just started baking beads and stuff like that and I just like expressing myself. Obviously, breaking is like my may think, but every now that you want to, like, mix it up a little bit, you know? I mean so, like, razor breaks. He DJs you know you want to, like, express yourself in different ways, just like with the clothing brand to like. I started the clothing brand for a different way of expression.

spk_0:   10:05
Besides, breaking you both now have your own business.

spk_3:   10:09
Is the outside of your careers like Web stores are Web shops. What sparked that idea? That entrepreneurial sight of you

spk_0:   10:19
for me it was honestly has always been there. I just always took the safe route, which would go to school, that a career, especially because Alex was going to be this super entrepreneur and really focusing on being his own boss. So I had. I always felt that I needed to have that consistency in the relationship and on and be that person which school had the, you know, steady paycheck all the time. We knew that survey check out I would have, right and whatever he did was also helpful. But he doesn't always know when he's gonna get paid when his next gig is gonna be so. But I always know with my paychecks enemy, both of us were super. Our own bosses maybe would be very, very successful. But I am such a need to have events safety net. So I think I took that route and again love what I do, and I will probably do it forever. I don't see myself stopping, but that part of me of trying to express my creative side has always been there since I was a teenager. I just just just have I loved graphic design, loved designing, love, texture and colors like That's where I thrive. That's what I love and what I enjoy. It can spend hours doing it. So when I thought of what to do next in a few years ago, I had a jewelry business that I had like a jewelry shop, but it was It was very cool. Lots of find. I stopped when I got pregnant. Um, because obviously Jordan would be would take a lot of time. But then now, recently I've started to feel that I've been I'm more established. Then I thought I would be at my age in my career. So I feel like it's a good time to do something to feed that. That creativity that I'm asking

spk_3:   12:05
also. I mean, she's been ever since we were younger. She's been talking about she loves design, interior design and, like graphic design as well. So, like her way of like, I guess getting her interior design bug is fixes. Our house moves things around. Every two months. later, Hillary comes over house. She's like this. This house is brand new. That wasn't there. She's always moving our room around whatever you know like that. That's her thing and graphic design as well. She's helped me with my clothing brand, and she's always been really, really good a graphic design ever since we were younger, and so I just told her, I'm like, you know, you've been talking about this for years, like you might as well just do it. Because if you never do it, then you're gonna be, like, kind upset that you never even just tried it. You know,

spk_0:   12:59
it's going a lot better than I expected. Honestly, I I started my shop just as, like, putting stuff out there and at sea. I didn't think I didn't think anything of it. I My plan was to have, like, about 100 items on there before I actually launched. But as soon as I started posting things up, people that didn't know me just like random people around the world were buying my stuff. I remember the first time someone order something. Really. I like

spk_2:   13:27
yell E Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like I never know what it's gonna be. Something good happened. I was so excited. What is the

spk_0:   13:44
name of your listening with your story? It's called Lolita by Lola. So my mom has always called me your last since I was a little girl. So I just to play in words. But I had worked on on it under wraps. So Alex was only what I knew about it for about 34 months. Just really plugging away. And when I say that I really dedicated time like I was up till four or five of the warning every day again because I love it though, right? So if it was something else, I just go to sleep. But because I was having so much fun and I just really, really, really love it, and I'm passionate about it. I have going on with in spite. I need to get a but But that happened a lot of finally when I launched it to like Hey, everyone, look what I'm doing. That was a whole another thing, right? I was very hesitant to at first cause I was like It's going well, I don't know that I want any more orders. I'm having trouble filling them now, right? But when I did that and got a lot of traction from that as well, so we've been very I say we because he's been helping me a lot with the orders because I'm obviously happen 95. But I come home and again I'm a mom. I'm a wife, but I also now have I shop anything take care of, so it's been going great. So much

spk_3:   14:57
fun, Uh, definitely helping her out with that because she can get overwhelmed with work. And, you know, I hate seeing her like that, so I'll grow.

spk_2:   15:07
That's how you get balanced,

spk_3:   15:09
this pull, like everything that is Garland's cause. Even as faras like how we are as people they were very like opposite, you know, I'm very chill, you know, She's very like, on top of things all the time. Um,

spk_0:   15:27
I haven't anxious nature like everything is like, thought through for the next three months. Everything must be perfect. And when something's not or goes the wrong way, I need help. And what am I gonna do about it? Right? So I try to control all aspects of my life at all time, which is so unhealthy, right? But what I tell Valley rub off on

spk_3:   15:49
each other? Very like, very well. So when I need to be on top of things like she rubs off on me and when she needs to chill like help her relax, yeah, definitely helps.

spk_1:   16:03
Pukey. How was it for you? What's your perspective on having that balance? Also from being able to sustain your professional career as an artist and entrepreneur. Do you feel like that? Really help you take that leap of faith in tow. The career as a professional B boy toe Have someone with a steady paycheck, or do you think you would have gone that route either way? And what advice would you give People that really want to go full career as an artist?

spk_3:   16:33
I think I was very lucky. Be because, um, you know, having a partner, you know, having a girlfriend, wife now. But girlfriend at the time, being very supportive of me was something that was, like, really rare. And I was just very I'm thankful that she was supportive of it, because I don't think it would have worked, because for sure, I would have at least attempted to have breaking as my career. And it's it's, you know, it's not something that most woman could deal with because we're always on the road. We traveling a lot. There could be trust issues there, you know. But she was always very supportive, and I thought very smart off her as well, because she would tell me, um, like I would ask her because we always have deep conversations. I would ask her. Why do you deal with what

spk_2:   17:29
Do you deal with me? You know, in my life,

spk_3:   17:32
um, you know, crazy. I'm gone half the month at home. Have to learn. You know, I know that must be hard for you, you know, around woman all the time. And that has to be hard for you. But you know her response to me. Itwas she said, Well, if I took breaking away from me or tried to, you know, change you to be something else that you would Yeah, we would be together. But you would be very unhappy and you would be unhappy with me. So I thought that was like, really, you know, smart of her, To think that far as far as like, this relationship would never work. If I don't let him as a man be, you know what he wants to be or, you know, and I've known a lot of men who didn't have that support, you know, had wives or girlfriends that were very opposed to all the traveling. Didn't like, you know, these groupies, her woman. You know, I still don't like bythe men. Just stop the You know the men stop dancing, you know, eventually, like the relationship didn't work out for

spk_0:   18:47
us. It's like I want to be completely myself was an individually as an individual, but also for him. And I feel like that's the key to a good, healthy relationship is when you truly and you're always working, working on yourself and evolving. But when you know your core and that other person does as well, and you come together than you have a clear understanding of what your needs are and whether or not they're met. So it works out that way. So if I took that away from him, I don't. I am a true believer that it wouldn't work out because he's not fulfilling his happiness. So I have to help him get there right, and vice versa. This goes both ways. How

spk_1:   19:29
did the two of you meet?

spk_0:   19:33
Sure, so we actually met at um, the Hennigan Elementary School. We weren't going there a students, but Fuki, I was in a baton twirling dance group called Today after Picot is, and they've been around forever. Here in Boston was a huge, huge group who he was obviously part of floor lords. So one time they had a talent show at that school which we actually both practice there for our dams groups, but different days. So he practice Tuesday Thursdays, like you guys still Dio and I used to practice Monday Fridays. So on that Friday, I went into practice, but they were like, just kidding. We're just going to go to the talent show which is still here at the school. So we go to this, we go to the talent show who are all the girls are there just hanging out. We're all in our practice close. You know, I'm not looking like anything awesome. And then I've been talking to pukey online for about five months at this point on Instant Messenger, and it was like a nightly thing. At that point, we were pretty much like dating. I'm talking about I'm 13 or I'm your 14. He's 13. So we're like, you know, talking on AOL Instant Messenger going back and forth on. And it was like the same time every night. Never saw each other, though for five months, but went to this place to practice on off days. So it

spk_3:   20:57
was for the two we kept planning to meet right at that time, I lived in marble rural Massachusetts. So Carolina would tell me online, like on a little instant messenger like, Hey, I'm gonna be there today, like on this Thursday or whatever. I think we try to meet up like three times. And then every time something was would happen were like, my mom couldn't drive me to practice or something. You know, I was

spk_0:   21:25
and there were no cell phone, so he couldn't tell me. So I'm sitting there like, just sitting there by myself, and my parents are working at this point. I'm supposed to be home. I'm like, not supposed to be there 13 14 years old. So you is that Friday Just a random Friday that I was not expecting to see him. I go to the talent show and they're like,

spk_2:   21:42
we have some special guests in the house. Flores, namely, that sound so

spk_0:   21:48
familiar. But anyway, looking around, doing other things, then I see this kid who's very short still

spk_2:   21:54
is so much time on his

spk_0:   21:58
head just going crazy. And he took off. Assure you remember that that that he had where he would do have spins into history will come up. So I'm

spk_2:   22:06
looking at

spk_0:   22:07
him. And then all my friends knew about that.

spk_2:   22:10
I I'm not dressed for this so that my best friend grabbed him, brought him over to me. This is, like were like, 13 money and this is still key. This is Carolina.

spk_0:   22:24
And then we just looked at each other for the first time after five months of online connection on Lee. And

spk_3:   22:31
it was very nervous, visually upset that she wasn't prepared,

spk_0:   22:38
had the biggest coat on and a T shirt. And I'm like, I'm so confused right now about everything because I didn't realize that he was that talented. I was talking to him online, but I didn't realize it was like that big of Ah, okay. And then when he got off stage, all the girls

spk_2:   22:56
were into Pokey. What is going on? Is this guy a celebrity like I'm so confused. But then out of

spk_0:   23:03
nowhere, he grabs me and kisses me in front of everyone on If there's anyone and bus listening to this podcast, a lot of people still come to me and say, I remember when he

spk_2:   23:15
first kissed you because a lot of my friends movie. It felt like we were kissing like

spk_3:   23:22
all that. You know, we're We're in a cafeteria like cap Syria. There's mad kids there and like, as we were kissing, literally like a crowd formed

spk_2:   23:33
around us Don't like some like teenage movies. I

spk_3:   23:39
remember one of one of our homies. I'm still friends with Tae Homi J Lita. He was

spk_2:   23:45
like guys back up back for the celebrity couple going from

spk_0:   23:51
like, boss. And I'm super shy like I I don't understand what's happening to my life. And then I hear Lino out of nowhere.

spk_2:   23:57
Let's go. We gotta go. I don't know. That is what I'm actually, we did the talent

spk_3:   24:06
show like floor lords when we did the talent show that we had to drive in New York that same night for, like, a gym or something that was happening. New York. So that's why Lena was like,

spk_2:   24:16
I like we gotta go say bye to your chickie poo poo. And I'm like saying to her like All right, well, I gotta go. So where you going? I'm going to New York. She's like New York. Who are you? OK, and then I remember I don't know if you

spk_3:   24:34
remember this. But I remember you asking me, like so are we officially dating now? Whatever. And then, like, Yeah, that was like, that was March 12 2004. exactly. We've been rolling ever since. Wow,

spk_0:   24:49
that's a lot. What did your friends and family think about your relationship? Just like obviously you went from friends. So more than friends at a very young age. My parents thought it was the little boyfriend she's gonna have for two weeks. They're gonna talk on the phone here in the air. And what do you think? That you're not gonna think that teenagers are gonna go and have a life together and kids and everything. But I would say that a lot of our friends pretty early on, I think saw what we did. And I don't know if you know, he says all the time that he knew. I always knew, But for me, it was, you know, like a puppy love. It's not gonna go into anything else, but

spk_2:   25:28
yeah, I don't

spk_3:   25:28
know for me, I think, um, have like, a little I don't know, I just It just felt right. Everything felt right. I didn't honestly know for sure, but, you know, I felt right. Faras like my parents and stuff. They didn't really know anything. I didn't really tell them how serious we were on then. You know, as far Lena Lino, I think thought that it was just like whatever a two week thing, too. Yeah. What? Colleen was like, not

spk_2:   25:56
happy knowing that, Matt, like, she's,

spk_3:   25:59
like, very over protective about all of us. You leave, Geo, you know. So she was just like, Who is this girl?

spk_2:   26:07
Right? And that was like

spk_0:   26:08
Mom and she helped raise them. So here I come, you know? And they looked at me as, like, I'm trying to, you know, ruin his his life. And the Lino started talking about protection. And you better

spk_2:   26:20
not get that girl like super early on. So you

spk_0:   26:25
see her and you're like, I want to kiss this girl in 30

spk_2:   26:27
years old and well, the thing is, that a lot of courage, I think, is in a weird way. Like we

spk_3:   26:35
were talking online every day, Same time, love a block for, like, a long time.

spk_0:   26:40
In a weird way, we weren't like together

spk_3:   26:43
before we even met we already had, like, this crazy connection.

spk_0:   26:47
I don't know how to explain it, but we knew that when we saw each other, that was gonna be the beginning of the really, like there was no question. Two was It was like, We just have to see each other to make it official.

spk_1:   26:57
So you've been together for so many years now. What would you say? What lessons have you learned in maintaining

spk_3:   27:04
a healthy relationship? You want me to go?

spk_2:   27:07
I think that might be a lesson learned. Let her speak first.

spk_3:   27:15
Just piggyback off what she said.

spk_2:   27:18
No, I think for us I

spk_0:   27:19
think it's pretty. We talk about this all the time. Bookie and I have always been very in tune with our own mind or how we think about things and why we think the way that we do until we share that a lot

spk_3:   27:35
and we have deep, deep. So

spk_0:   27:38
I think that we can both agree that communication is just so huge. And I know that's so cliche really communication. But it's not just communicating with someone about what you're gonna get anywhere, how you're feeling, but it's really being in tune with that person so deeply that you almost don't even have to explain it because they understand so that constant communication about why you feel the way that you do it, Why, why you're the person you are as far as your personality just constantly mean It's been 16 years, and we're still learning from each other. Um, it's so important just because we can I can understand what he would do some things and he consumed what I would do. Certain things,

spk_3:   28:23
Yeah, I think, like just some general rules that helped us out, like we didn't always have the's like rules or whatever. But like one of the things is we're very open about, You know, if something's bothering you, just let me know. Just tell me like you know. So if something's bothering me, I let it be known if something's bothering her, she lets it be known, and then we just, like, try to figure it out. Another rule we have is like we never go to Ben angry or mad at each other. I think that helps a lot, and it's not particular, like, particularly a rule, but I think it kind of helps out as well as the fact that I travel and stuff like that kind of gives us, you know, a break in, like, time to miss each other and stuff like that. You know, it's just a good balance in our relationship. I will say this. It hasn't always been easy. I've had my moments, a lot of growing, that I had to do the same. Same with Carolina as well. But I think now you know the things you go through as a couple, you know, either make you stronger or like they just break the relationship. And I feel like one thing with being Carolina were not like quitters like that. You know, we don't just, like, quit on the relationship when things get a little tough. Instead, we, like, try to figure it out.

spk_0:   29:44
How is Pooky Different then, then, even after being married, but also since you met him, he hasn't changed from the wedding because we've been taken for 16 years and we got married in May. So at this point, it's It's a few months in, and I don't know that he's nothing has really felt different in the house. To be honest, it's just like I have Diaz now in my last name and it doesn't feel different but a faras how different he is from when I met him. 13. You know, Fuki has We've both done a lot of growing a lot. And I think one of the beautiful things about the relationship is that we grew together in a way that we're almost intertwined with each other. So all the growing that he had to do, I was there to experience it all the glory that I had to do, he was there to experience it and he'll he feels like a part of me. I feel like a part of him. So I don't think too many people can say that. I think really, really unique and very special and to realize that at 13 14 years old, would you say you guys are each other soulmates is I

spk_3:   30:52
was Yeah, yeah, I would definitely say that. I think I'm not sure. One like Carolina's end. She was just very mature at that age. Um, for me, there's more of like I never really wanted to to like I just always as a kid. I was like, I want to find a girl. Nice girl. That's gonna be my girl in blah, blah, blah, right? Never, You know, never works out that way. But I was. I think I was mature because growing up in hip hop and growing up with the floor lords like, I was very loyal, like, loyal to your crew, you know, like, you know, you know, and the scene was like that in general, you know, But I kind of like, took those principles. I had learned from being in a crew from such a young age, and I kind of like the principles of that, you know, experience growing up from, like, six years old to 13. When I met her, that I think I took that same approach towards our relationship was like, I try to be dedicated to the relationship just as much as I was dedicated to breaking. And, you know, you have time when you're when you're a kid, you know, being like all right, I don't have that else to do will be dedicated to this.

spk_1:   32:14
What are your thoughts like in hip hop in general, especially for male sits sometimes glorified toe, you know, have that player image or hooking up with a lot of different girls is often glorified. How would you say you perceive that? Especially being in a relationship for basically all your

spk_3:   32:35
adult life. Yeah. Um, Well, for me personally, you know, when When I got a little bit older, like, 16 17 18 you know would deal with those struggles. Like I, my 18 year old kid, and I would like, try and break up with Carolina in the summer

spk_2:   32:53
try, you know? Hey, you would say something like, I'm going to take a

spk_0:   32:59
break from you for about three months because I want to experience the his word

spk_2:   33:04
every every since I didn't, like, three summers role to the point where Carolina

spk_3:   33:10
was like So what, are you gonna break up with me this

spk_2:   33:12
summer and then, you know, she was like, No, you break up with me. I'm leaving. That's it away. All right, All right.

spk_3:   33:20
Let me let me relax, you know,

spk_2:   33:22
but not in general. Even even that

spk_3:   33:26
those moments and Carolina will tell you like I'm an awful liar. Not a liar lying type of person. And so you know, when I those moments when I was, like, single for the little bit of time or whatever. Like I just didn't like the feeling of, like, maybe having three different girls and like lying to them like, Oh, I'm at the movies with my boy more really with links. Um, I just didn't like that feeling is it wasn't for me. And like I said, just had for me. Personally, I had a very loyal person and, like, dedicated to whatever I'm into, So that didn't really, you know, I didn't struggle too much with that when it more when I was a kid. After I feel like after I my sword, I just stopped caring about that. And I know a lot of that is just so like feed ego. You gonna be in a lot of a lot of the men I knew were just, like, stressed out, like going through it over woman that they care about. You know, I just figured, I don't know, maybe I was just extra mature, but I just figured it was is all stupid to be, like, kind of dumb.

spk_1:   34:32
We're curious, Like, who are the people around you that influenced you the most in life? And who was there? Toe so they give you advice on relationship matters. Have

spk_0:   34:42
a good one. It's funny you ask that because I feel like the people in my life where models of what you shouldn't do. So that's what I learned from so with me. My parents have been together for about 40 years now. They never been married, and they've they have a very loving relationship. They love themselves. They love each other very much. But there were a lot of things that happened between them that showed me what I didn't want my husband. But it also showed me what kind of mom and wife I wanted to be. So with my parents being the way that they are and I love them both, it showed me kind of, you know, all of those different advice. I wouldn't say that I had people that gave me relationship advice because we were so young. Then no one was necessarily sitting with us and saying this is what you should and shouldn't

spk_2:   35:42
do. I don't think that I were just very good. I think people ask observing

spk_3:   35:48
the situation like around this, you know? I mean, I know I've always been really good at that thing. Carolina's well and so same situation for me. Like I would just look at, you know, my parents relationship, which they're They're totally fine. They broke up a long time ago when I was a baby, but they're so cool. But together their relationship was, like, kind of toxic from from you know, what I've heard on and then just just adults like I always try toe, sit back and watch my elders and try to learn from what they're doing right and what they're doing wrong. And I think we did a pretty good job at that, you know, just learning from the people around us.

spk_0:   36:35
Yeah, so not say that

spk_1:   36:37
it was

spk_0:   36:37
horrible. But it's we learned from, I guess, what not to do. To be honest, I don't know. Can you think of any role models? I can't really think of anyone

spk_2:   36:49
and something always appreciated about you guys

spk_1:   36:52
hevery time I would come and see you, especially after you guys have Jordan that you were so

spk_2:   36:56
young, but you had it all together, my family. But because

spk_0:   37:01
it hasn't always been rainbows and butterflies like No, there's been a lot of different things that have happened between us is just what we do with that. It's not what happened about how we deal with that together, right? So ah, lot of the time when we think about the things we've been through together, we can see how people are like I'm done right. But with us, we we keep trucking through and going through it together. But it hasn't. Most of our relationship has been beautiful, but of course there's always going to be issues and concerns that both of us have. I mean, it just comes with it.

spk_2:   37:39
But fundamentally, what is it that causes you guys to do that? Because most people still love each other, but they're like,

spk_0:   37:45
I can't do this anymore, says the history. I don't know that anybody could make me as happy as he does. And it's not that we haven't been with other people. I know that for sure now. So I'm confident in saying,

spk_3:   38:01
Yeah, way broke up a couple years ago, and it was, you know, I think this kind of really, like helped our relationship a lot. Um, you know, because we did break up. There was a moment in the relationship where I was kind of I was checked out because I felt like I wasn't getting I wasn't I wasn't I felt like everything as far as life goals and things like that that Carolina wanted. She was getting and I was helping. I was helping towards her goals. Um, but I felt like on my side of things, like what I wanted for the family or for our family together, I felt like I wasn't getting that that same reciprocation. So I kind of just checked out a little bit, you know? And she checked out, too. So we both it wasn't even necessarily like, um, like something specific happened. You know, we came back home from vacation and she was like, When I get back when we get back from vacation, I got a really, like, deep diving toe work because she just started a job and I was getting my mouth went on vacation, like, right there. So she was like, When I get back from vacation, that's a bad look. I just started a job and went on vacation within the first couple weeks, so I'm like, OK, like she's working on her and on her job. And then I really started working hard to started working hard on my clothing brand on Visionary. And then I started traveling like a lot, a lot, a lot. So in my my head, I was just, like, working hard. And she was working hard. But little by little, I was kind of checking out, and I when you look like in hindsight, it was, uh, also, I felt like I was, you know, cause I'd stay home with Jordan, and I was kind of, like, boxed into, like, my apartment all day. You know what? The baby, which was fine. I didn't mind it, But when she would come home, I needed a break from Jordan. So I would just leave the house whether they go to practice or whatever and like and she was just working. So our relationship kind of got strange from, like, this routine,

spk_0:   40:17
right? And so I come from work where it's like, 9 to 5. I'm dealing with a 1,000,000 people all day and I come home home. Oh, just kidding. I have to be mom

spk_2:   40:27
now. So that would get upset

spk_3:   40:32
with me that I don't leave the house sometimes digitally I'd have to leave to go right or, like, go to practice. So as soon as she comes to the door, I'm out like I'm leaving. But I would go out after practice sometimes to come, you know, come home late and she'd be with the baby and I have What's the problem? I was with the baby all day, you know, like you're fine. So like little by little, kind of like became a strain on a relationship in a weird way to the apartment were living in. I was just kind of going crazy in there, even though it was a beautiful apartment, I think, like, subconsciously, I was used to growing up in like a house with a backyard in a front yard, like I could go outside with Jordan and I just felt cooped up. So I was going a little nuts,

spk_2:   41:17
you know, like,

spk_3:   41:18
just go a little crazy.

spk_0:   41:19
And then for me, I was just heavy in school, getting my master's goto work, just being this person that I wanted to be, and but the mom at the same time, Jordan was really young, so trying to be person who is managing their career plus schools, plus a baby plus B a wife handle home like that's That's a lot right? So we definitely had that for a few years. I think that happened. And when we finally I was like, Okay, we're gonna be together. We're gonna make this work. That's when we decided to get married. So it hasn't been. I think it's been, like two years now since we've been, like, happier than ever. It feels like when we were 14. Right now,

spk_3:   42:00
Yeah. So

spk_2:   42:02
when I go back

spk_1:   42:02
to you mentioning that you always lived in a house and you live here in Boston, how

spk_2:   42:07
does that influence you as

spk_3:   42:08
a person? Yeah. When you ask Carolina like, how is pokey changed? I used to be a lot, a lot rougher. You know, me, 16 17 year old rookie. Like I'm I'm from Dorchester from the these experiences of just like living in the hood in Boston like I was a lot rougher and tougher. And some of the things I learned from you know, my uncles and stuff like that. Just the way you conduct yourself very manly, you know, And I had to, like, toned that down a little bit around one dealing with Carolina. You don't amino are in general. I feel like overall, I'm a better person now because I don't need that. You don't mean Teoh necessarily get my message across.

spk_0:   42:52
That's some of what he had brought to our relationship to. So a lot of the conversations we had weren't really compensation. E think I have a lot of that to, you know, just be lucky. Nine. Being like, How dare you, You know, say that or whatever we go at it, but it wasn't a healthy results of that. Like now we have a conversation and it feels like we're the therapy session for being purpose to each other. It's very different. Do you think that it helps that you're a partner for someone

spk_1:   43:24
is an artist and especially someone that's in hip hop nose like a little more appreciate some or the history and what it's involved when it comes to the culture? Do you think that's also could

spk_0:   43:35
be an added thing to your relation? Because Carolina seem like you understand the history of hip hop? And

spk_2:   43:42
sometimes I understand it is also

spk_3:   43:47
extremely well, like putting herself in other people's shoes and pretty sure she's put herself in my shoes plenty of times. So just like figure out how I feel.

spk_0:   44:00
When I when I was going, when I was growing up with with pukey, he would take me to event in different things. I've never seen that kind of passion and love in one room. I don't I don't break. I don't dance like this mating game much out at home sometimes, But I'm not. I'm not in that world, but that, um, energy. You feel that when you're around is just, so, so energetic and it's inspiring. And how can I possibly

spk_2:   44:32
think that away from him? Plus, it gives

spk_0:   44:35
me life, too. I love. I love to hear how he travels and the stories he brings back. I'm not home like Wonder what he's doing. No, that was years ago. That person was 17 18 year old Carolina. At this point, I know where we are. I'm not worried about anyone else. I care about him eating and being safe.

spk_2:   44:56
That's only give out

spk_0:   44:58
anything else or anyone else, you know. So I think we're in a different place mentally, and it's always been that way since we were very young, but yeah, just just to answer your question, I I love hip hop. I I listened to ah, lot of nineties rap and R and B. Probably one pukey does, but that's that's my thing. That's what I rather listen to. And that's because he showed me that because I grew up in a Dominican high household. So I grew up on on Lehman in Game A Chatah, speaking on Lee Spanish. I learned English when I was in sixth grade like that was my life of super culturally Dominican. That's what it waas he came into my life, showed me this whole other world that I never even knew existed besides the dancing part, just a hip hop part of everything. And it was just inspiring, too. I feel like I'm a part of it because I'm with him and I mean, it's been 16 years, so I feel like the girl.

spk_2:   45:55
Sometimes you have a little

spk_0:   46:01
baby boy Jordan. He truck. He's dancing around the house all the time. When in the summer when it's summertime and he's not in school, Um, I come home sometimes, and my dining room it's like spread out the tables over there that shares over here what happened and join us like

spk_2:   46:19
Daddy enjoyed. And we're dancing today. Look what I learned and he will start doing some crazy move. And I'm like, Wow, that's what you guys were doing

spk_0:   46:27
all day here today. So he's very much loving of breaking right now. And he has a bus teacher basically to be able to help him out and guide him in that way, although one spooky start saying, Jordan, let's learn this or starts like saying Let's do this. He's like,

spk_2:   46:45
I don't want to do that and he'll start doing something fun. Hey,

spk_3:   46:50
just likes to dance, you know? And he knows, like I figured out like the way the best way to teach him is like, indirectly. So I battle him and I like the moment I try to do anything structured like All right, let's learn a sick stuff. He's like

spk_2:   47:05
I do now is like we battle each other. He's like, Dad, I

spk_3:   47:10
smoked you like you did,

spk_2:   47:13
but what I do is when I'm battling him,

spk_3:   47:16
I'll do the movements and I'll do it extra times, like five times really slowly. And then I see him trying to do it. Yeah. So that's like how teaching him right now, you know, he doesn't know it, but he's getting

spk_1:   47:29
tough. That's clever. Very clever. So what are your next goals? Were you looking forward to your first or

spk_2:   47:39
I mean, I have Sorry. You want to go first? I never told him to, dio um, So I think

spk_0:   47:54
I have, um I have high expectations for myself because I see where I am right now, and it's exceeded what I thought, Um, so I know that I will exceed what I envisioned for myself. I know that for sure. I see myself probably still, um, working in a place where I think that the company that I'm in right now really allows me to be myself is probably the first time I've ever felt like I could be 100% to me at work. Which is something that, as an HR professional, I strive for all day for the people that I support, Right? But this is truly the first time I feel super comfortable at work being a woman of color, and that's very difficult in different workplaces. But this is truly really where I see myself being for a very long time, very, very long time. But with that being said, um, you know, keeping on going up the ladder of off of that HR profession and whatever that leads me to. But the Bulls highest and believe me when I say that and then, you know, with my shop and I don't like to call it my business because I feel like that makes it. It takes away a little bit of the passion that I have for it, and I feel like for me, it's just a shop that I love to do and invest myself in and invest my time. And that's what I loved it. It was like a passionate thing that I that I do. If it grows great, I feel like I know what I need to do to it in order to take it to the next step. Whether or not I want to do that is up to me  depends on where life takes me. We want to have more kids, definitely

spk_2:   49:38
rather than later. No more kids and just

spk_0:   49:44
no have a happy, happy life. Be able to travel whenever I want one of my main main main gold is being able to be in a place where it allows me to travel more with pukey cause he goes to all these amazing places. And I can only dream of going with him because I have to be mom and career person and blah, blah, blah, right. But when I get to a place where I have that flexibility, I'm able to just join him on these trips, which is just to me, Amazing. That's that's super super success factor for me.

spk_3:   50:20
Yes, for me. I think so. The next step is I'm trying to transition from not traveling as much like I love traveling. And so

spk_2:   50:31
I guess my planet way can pick and choose where we go when he does travel. They were going to know why. This is great. Yeah, I just don't I don't like

spk_3:   50:43
the having to travel to make money, to pay your bills or whatever. I don't really like that most of the place I travel I love and I love teaching workshops and stuff like that and like to the next generation kind of helping mold and next generation be boys. But I think I kind of wanna focus a little bit more on the crew now that we have a new generation. So my goal is within the next couple of years. I mean, we want to have another baby. That's one. And then I wanna also, like, try and open a dance studio or like some type of hub for the Boston scene. You know, I think ever since Lino has left, you know he's here's a huge part of the scene Here come and I can tell even now him in Hawaii, like now Hawaii has that like they have Lino. You know, it's like a huge part of the scene wherever he goes. And for me, it's hard for me to fill that void. Someone was traveling, Um, and so I want to open up a dance studio, Um, where it's It's where we can have, like, open practices where we don't have to deal with the's practice spot issues. Not not only for the B boys, but for the dancers about dance community in Boston, period.

spk_1:   52:08
Define power. Couple. Do you wanna go first?

spk_2:   52:12
Being a power couple to me, being able to support each other being like good people to yourselves, each other and people around you.

spk_0:   52:26
I think that for me, a power couple is a couple that's healthy, and I keep going back to individually. I just think that's so important. I've seen a lot of couples that are good couples to each other, but they are not good to themselves. So that comes out in the relationship and somehow messes something up, just not the right time at that moment. So I feel like taking care of yourself, having your old individuality, having your own power and in your old, um, character personality, kind of like your own big and being also what someone else is. The same as that defines to me what a power couple is because you're powerful alone. But when you're But when you're together, it's It's a force, right? So it's one of the issues with a lot of you know, a lot of couples today is that like there might be one person in the relationship that isn't fully like happy with themselves or doesn't feel that they grew enough. Or maybe it's both, and they're relying on each other to feel to fill this void. We just try to support each other as much as possible Carolina with, you know, with her, with her, etc. With her shop. You know, I was she was like, asking me. Should I do it? I'm like, well, here to support you 100%. I think you should do it. If you know, you've been something you've been talking about for a while and I feel like anything that somebody wants to do the things like talking about her, thinking about doing it. Like I think you should just try it because I feel like it fulfills something. And even if it fails, you know, if you never do it, you might. You're going to regret it. You know, like when you're on your when you're on your deathbed or something you might regret.

spk_2:   54:25
Never started an Etsy shop.

spk_3:   54:28
Never started your own business or whatever. Like just take that leap. And then if you're in a relationship and you have a partner that's there to support you, you at least you don't feel like you're alone. There's

spk_0:   54:38
a lot of mental health healing that needs to be done throughout our society in general, right? So when people that are not a great fulfilling place come together, that that's also unhealthy and toxic to each other more than it was when they are alone. So I think again, just mental health in general. I feel like a lot of people need to do so much healing on themselves before joining relationship. And again, this is like not to say that we have it 100% covered because we're healing from our own traumas were healing from our own things that we were still healing from. But we're healing together, and we're both understanding what those traumas were and why we need to heal and why. It's important to our relationship what it's like. Maybe like two ways. Then you

spk_2:   55:28
include that lake mental health aspect. You know, healing. What does that look like

spk_3:   55:33
for me? Uh, I'll just say this leg a lot of like self reflection. One thing that helped me out a lot was just like looking at my my family and like the history of my family and like figuring out why I do certain things. Why act certain ways why I react to certain things certain ways? And then I realized, like okay, like This is how I grew up. This is normal to me, but it's not normal for her

spk_0:   56:02
and also travels right, though it gives me time to be not to say I don't want him there. But after you spend every single day with someone for 16 years, it starts getting your nerves. When your whole I'm home by myself,

spk_0:   56:17
I can wash the movies he doesn't like. I could do whatever you know, whatever. And I can do my own

spk_2:   56:21
thing and he's traveling. So we're also away from each other for some time, so it makes us miss each other. By day three were basically what wait at the airport. He tells me he misses me like what I do now is

spk_3:   56:36
like if she's going off in and she's like like, this is a gem for men. So I feel like I need to say I just let her go going off like I just let her Yeah, whatever. I don't go back anymore. And that's what works now like I just like all right, you know, I let her get her anger off her steam, and then she gets even more

spk_2:   56:58
mad because she's like, Why are you getting back? Like, Why don't you know? And I just wait till she calms down

spk_3:   57:04
or I'll just allow also nothing for me to like. If we have a big, like, heated argument, I'm just, like, done like I don't want to talk. She wants to come fix it.

spk_0:   57:15
Yep, like an hour later. I can't e I can't go on with my test. And I have when I say tough, I mean, like, I have a task every hour of the day, all the time, like I have something to do all the time. So I if I had an argument

spk_2:   57:29
with him,

spk_0:   57:30
there is no way like just talking about is making me anxious.

spk_2:   57:33
I cannot move to this test that I have going on because

spk_0:   57:36
I have not fixed whatever's were over here. Everything must feel like leveled.

spk_2:   57:41
So I will go to him and things look a like she's like, Why is he so to, you know? But this is like math time because he knows he can't go to sleep late. That but sometimes I'll be like, OK, like, it could be

spk_0:   58:02
either of our faults. I don't even care. He could do like the worst thing and I'll still approach him and

spk_2:   58:07
okay, it's fine. Like I'm sorry. Whatever I'll say Sorry like, Well, we just have to fix this. And he's like, Now I can't move on with my day. You don't say it's okay Even that we've got so much. Yeah, we're talking about the order. This is like a

spk_0:   58:26
30 minute thing from from happy to angry to Back to him, too. Happy is like 30 minutes increments

spk_2:   58:31
at this is really good.

spk_1:   58:34
Where can people find you?

spk_3:   58:35
Well, among on Instagram at B Boy, Alina on Facebook's last Be Well, you know also the crew as well on Instagram Fat Flow, Lords Boston and Floors dot work, and my clothing brand is via less clothing visionary lifestyle. It's shop visionaries dot com.

spk_0:   59:01
Well, I don't have us many handles as you can find me personally at and on Instagram Carolina Dot IMG and then my brand Lolita, please go check out My awesome shop on Etsy is Lolita by lola dot com and on Instagram is at lolita dot by lola and you can see some awesome stuff I've been working on on there and last one, at least. What is hip hop to you,

spk_3:   59:33
Mrs like you go, you know, well, hip hop to me is basically it's, uh, that's a life changing culture. Not to sound cliche or what not, but I truly believe me growing up in hip hop so young it really helped build my identity, gave me confidence. I think I've seen it give other a lot of countless kids confidence. Who? I remember them when they were just like I felt like they were just another person on earth and started to get involved with this culture and just completely blossomed until amazing human beings. Um, so for me, yes, that's what I would say hip hop is. It's, ah, beautiful culture.

spk_0:   1:0:21
To me, it's just a community of people that again, it's what I what I learned from him, right? Eso It's this community of people that are all, um, passionate about the same thing, and they all want to see each other succeed or most of them, and just vibe out on one same kind of interesting to me that that's inspiring. I'm not exactly, you know, fully into the hip hop world, other than being his wife but I feel very much connected to it. I listen to rap that I I have no connection to like I love gnaws and I have I've never been to create print Raj. I have never experienced that life, but he's one of my favorite one of my favorite artists in general, and and I I love him because of the way that he's able to paint a picture to be just through his rap. I'm able to see what he experienced, and to me, that's inspiring To see someone else go through all of those things and get out of that situation to make whatever it is that he is now that's that's inspiring to me. And I think that, you know, seeing Boquillas Well, I mean, I've seen what is done for him and isn't people that he's around. So

spk_1:   1:1:31
to me, it's It's so thank you so much to our guests. Carolina and Spooky for being so open and sharing your story with some of the jobs we took away from this in your constant communication is key to a healthy relationships. Staying June with your own mind. Share your thoughts with your partner having a strong dedication to your relationship and not giving up on each other allows the ability to grow together throughout the years. Role models are not always positive that you can learn what types of behaviors we do not want. Teoh theme music was be boxed by Dennis Demand Nissim, produced by seeding big shout outs to the homies in Switzerland. Big Shot of the day with very can. Tips for letting us pressure space to record interview and providing the Barbie vibes We appreciate you way would left to get your feet back questions or any suggestions you might have. You can reach out this on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook at SoulidarityLLC or via email soulidarityllc@gmail.com  If You like today's show. Please tell a friend about our podcast or as Phife Dawg would say Tell Your mother, tell your father sent a telegram. On Next week's episode We talk to Emcee E Turn, a Florida based emcee, singer and songwriter who sheds light on her journey into music industry. Thank you for listening to us. No, seriously, though. Thank you. I'm Candy, and I'm Dj razor cut and this is souls of hip hop.

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What does it take to be the best?
Entrepreneurship
How did you two meet?
Family reaction to a very young couple
Relationship rules
Influences
Growing up in Boston
Next goals
Power couple
Mental health
What is Hip Hop to you?