On today’s show we have a multi-talented power couple: Keyla Escribano and Ariel St. Hilaire aka Flashback. Keyla is a B-Girl, model, yoga teacher, and Florida Realtor. Flashback is a DJ, close-up magician, entertainer, martial artist, and entrepreneur.
In this interview we talk about quitting your 9-to-5 job and key take-aways to being successful entrepreneurs, transitioning from a stereotypical player to a dedicated husband, the key to communication and loving yourself.
You can find them here:
www.instagram.com/buyandsellwithkeyla/
www.instagram.com/yogabgirl/
www.instagram.com/bboyflashback/
www.mixcloud.com/flashinthemix/
www.youtube.com/user/bboyflashback/
On today’s show we have a multi-talented power couple: Keyla Escribano and Ariel St. Hilaire aka Flashback. Keyla is a B-Girl, model, yoga teacher, and Florida Realtor. Flashback is a DJ, close-up magician, entertainer, martial artist, and entrepreneur.
In this interview we talk about quitting your 9-to-5 job and key take-aways to being successful entrepreneurs, transitioning from a stereotypical player to a dedicated husband, the key to communication and loving yourself.
You can find them here:
www.instagram.com/buyandsellwithkeyla/
www.instagram.com/yogabgirl/
www.instagram.com/bboyflashback/
www.mixcloud.com/flashinthemix/
www.youtube.com/user/bboyflashback/
Welcome to Souls of Hip Hop, a podcast for hip hop heads that aims to bring inspiring people together to share their passion, wisdom and unique stories.
Unknown Speaker :My name is candy, and I am Dj Razor Cut
Unknown Speaker :and together we are Soulidarity
Unknown Speaker :connecting souls organically.
Unknown Speaker :On today's show, we have a multitalented power couple, Keyla Escribano and Ariel St. Hilaire, aka Flashback.
Unknown Speaker :Kayla is a b-girl, model, yoga teacher and Florida realtor.
Unknown Speaker :Flashback is a DJ, close-up magician, entertainer, martial artist and entrepreneur.
Unknown Speaker :Welcome to the show.
Unknown Speaker :Okay, so my name is Keyla Escribano and I was born in Puerto Rico raised in Orlando, Florida. Met Candy through the hip hop culture, B-girling. Met my husband Flash through the B boy culture, B boying. Met Pascal through the culture. And then in essence, I was like 13 years not dancing anymore, but totally adulting and playing the real estate agent game now.
Unknown Speaker :My real name is Ariel St. Hilaire, aka Flashback. I was born in New York City, raised half of my life in Dominican Republic, then went back to New York. In 93, That's when I first saw hip hop, at its core, meaning all the elements when I got introduced into the universal Zulu Nation, and it blew my mind. That's the day that I decided to do nothing but hip hop when it comes to DJ breaking emceeing. The only thing I didn't do was graffiti.
Unknown Speaker :How would your parents describe what you do for a living?
Unknown Speaker :Well, me, I do real estate now. So it's okay, it's fine. But at the moment when I was a little bit more all over the And kind of doing little everything. I don't know, my mom never really got into it because she knew I was always I've always been ambitious. And I've always worked really hard. And she always saw me doing something, either. And if I'm not doing something, I'm learning something. So it's either one I'm always moving. So she never really had an issue. My father is a very, like old school, he's had the same job for like 22 years, you know, nine to five cable guy, you know that he's just like, lives that life. So for him, he's just kind of like, I don't know, he's like, Oh, so how's work? I know, whatever. Like we never really talked about work that much except for like thinking about retirement or when he was my age, he was so much more ahead because it was different generations. So when he was in his 20s, he had two kids already. He had his own business. He had a house he had all of these things at that time. And now he looks at me and my brother, although like now we have houses and all of that and we have jobs but still he will look at it and be like this is such a difference. From where my mind was out. When I was in my 20s now we're in our 30s we're where he was out at his 20s just the difference in generation. That's them, but his parents, baby boomers, my mom was only she was born in 65. So she's 54 my dad's 55 so it's not that big of a difference between me being 34 a 20 year difference not that big of a deal but they're very modern. Listen to freestyle music like they're a little bit more like you know, down but his parents are super old school. And then my parents are American, his parents, although you guys are American, but you're more Dominican than anything else.
Unknown Speaker :So it's a big my grandparents came to the to the United States. After that my dad and my mom, they were still born in the Dominican Republic. And then they ended up getting their visa and or them becoming Americans later on, like in the early 70s. And then when my sister my brother, ourselves, your mom was a stay at home. Yes, she was. She was like the wife, old, traditional Stay at home my dad. He's very social. But super old school baby boomer, he ended up like just driving a cab and that's he thinks is cool because goes have conversations. I think that's where I got it from, and how they see me since a kid. Well, I went to high school, I graduated from college, I got a BA in criminal justice, I was going to be a cop. I was gonna be the same as my dad. I was always a dreamer. Since a little kid, I was always a kid that believed that, that I could write a little note. And if I really believe in that, no, you know, like, burn it or something is gonna happen. I've always been that kid. My family doesn't see it that way. They wake up, what are what are you doing? Why are you thinking that way? So since a little kid at nine years old, it's crazy because nine years old The first time I saw magic, so I think that's what changed it. That's what made me believe that there is a Something that you could create you can manifest your thoughts in which I ended up proving later on but how they still see you I'm not doing anything but they see that we got a house we go work I've traveled the world, but they still don't see like I was supposed to be that the kid that was going to follow my dad steps, but I was already a martial artist, so I thought I was gonna be a ninja Samurai movies. You know I like that stuff in life tumbling flipping. What are you doing? That's not gonna take you anywhere. You got to go to school, school you know, like the typical parents you got to go to school, you got to graduate from college, you got to get a good job. Get this get that and I remember like, once I started doing was kind of stopped doing martial arts and I found breaking in I met one other universal Zulu Nation brothers the Gumby into the nation. He gave me a book, a little book, it was a little booklet is called the children of matrix. And I mentioned to her all the time, and this is before the movie, the matrix, which is actually the matrix A movie came out of all these little books and this guy called Phil Valentine, which he he's like a conspiracy theory but now and to well, not 2020 is so weird to say that it's everything is true what he's saying. Like, the Bilderberg like the whole Rockefeller and all that, but the money and the power, there's no Democrats and Republicans. Somebody controls the world, like the whole thing. I learned that at an early age. So once they caught me and they started teaching me this type of knowledge, which is called a Black Law, started teaching me this. I was like, we're getting played. I don't want to do that. I'm going to high school. In they're teaching me What they want me to learn, that's it, but I'm gonna get out of there, I'm not gonna have a job. After that I'm gonna go to college and get a student loan meaning that they play me again now. Now I'm gonna owe money to the government and it's gonna follow you for the rest of your life. Our I was already way ahead of knowing these things. So I will constantly fight with my family say no, I want to go to college. Why? Why am I going to have a $60,000 debt? When I got to college, I will not have a job where you guys are talking them? What do you mean? I've seen these people do this and do that you need to go to college. Get that out of your head, martial arts and all that. Okay, you're good. You got all these trophies. You travel, you do that? That's not gonna pay your bills. You need a job. Now 9294 I found breaking. Now everything changed. Now, I didn't want to be no martial artist anymore. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to call artists I wanted to be this and that there was not the many competitions. There'll be talent shows. So So, my parents were looking at me like, he's gonna just be above. Like he's not doing anything with his life. Look, Mama did this look at the video, I'ma come out on TV, they'll look at it. They wanted to see the diploma. So my sister, she's older than me. She was I listen, I know you want to do your breakdancing thing or you want to travel. At least go to college. It's only four years you get out of a show deployment he could shut up. All right, I'm going to do that. took me six years to get a four year degree because I'll quit semester come back quit a semester that I had to do summer school. My system was on it. She was on it harder. me. I graduated from college. First high school that look I did it. All right. Going to college. Nobody wants to take a year off. I want to like break this and no, I don't care about you need to freaking go to school. I ended up graduating from college 99. Okay, now I got my degree dad. He looked. Okay, well now you gotta get a job. You gotta go to Police Academy you're gonna go here, you're gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. I don't want to do that. No, you need to do that. We're not doing that. You can't live here anymore. What do you mean? I got my high school diploma aka my college diploma. What else do you want?
Unknown Speaker :You need to get a job now. bring money you need to, if not, you're not going to do that can give you 70 years old 80 knows I graduated a little early. Because at the summer school, my sister fortunately, you could get this quick. And then you could do whatever you want. That's what I thought. My sister's not my mom or dad. She was just trying to help out. Now it's 99 about 18 and I get an opportunity to go to Korea in from there. A potential to go to 48 countries. The start that time Miss Gomez is the first time they went to New York. The audition for the show break show. They all audition they all made it late on Things happen with the crew and some of them got fired and whatever. But I remained disciplined. I got the call Hey, somebody got fired. I replaced fleet. We need one more person to be a B boy. And the gig starts in Korea so Korea, but you have to leave tomorrow. What? I was like, Are you for real? Yeah, you have to leave tomorrow. You have your passport. Yeah, I got my password. You got everything. Okay. Honey Rocco went to my house. She can tell you this and you are going to my house and she had to ask for permission his whole thing. So but then I told my mom Hey, they're gonna pay me I think it was like 950 a week. They're gonna pay you how much this is like more than my dad was making.
Unknown Speaker :Now I'm going to $50
Unknown Speaker :Get out of here with that. Hi, how they gonna pay doing breakdancing?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, I'm gonna go here. I'm gonna go there in a live tomorrow. Whatever look Look, look, I have a weekend ticket right here.
Unknown Speaker :They believe they were like this guy tripping up. I was out. I left. They crumble up. You got to take me to the airport. It came, it became real. I remember my dad's face. I was sitting in the passenger seat. My mom was in the back. She was so quiet and my dad was so angry. It was like he was like, taking me to jail. Like it felt like you said, I can't believe you got arrested. Now I gotta give you it like I felt that way. So I didn't feel like the examiner. Hey, yeah, you're gonna go do this. Korea, Singapore, Switzerland, Japan, China, Taiwan all over I went to 53 countries, like from 99 all the way to 2007. That's kind of like one theater show. And look theater show. opener for this. I travel Will Smith in the y2k tour. Will Rockefeller Quickstep brother? Look good look there look Ma, super old school baby boomers, how much they pay? They pay me this. That money didn't count. Because it wasn't normal. It wasn't a pay stub
Unknown Speaker :from Yeah, it wasn't like a check.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, it was like, your boss gave you this money. I don't have a boss on my own my man and my sister didn't even know how to like w nine. I think this is giving the wrong form. Now this is it. I'm an independent contractor look so prepared. Like I didn't know like, Well, that was you got to help me with these papers. I don't know. She was so confusing. And you know, it's not like you could Google it. Like, like let's google it like so every year even though showing them doing this to them that they never saw it. Like, to this day. They don't say it anymore. They already do.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, they will talk to me too. And they'll be like, Hey, why don't you talk to him? Tom? I got a job. Tommy. I'm like, but he does have a job. What? What job? Yeah, we're doing the break that the dancing thing. I'm like, Yeah, he gets paid a lot of money for that. Like he gets paid. Yeah, yeah. So and I do and I had like, the the regular job was like, yeah,
Unknown Speaker :yeah. So and then not only that benefit, he needs this. That's what I left my parents house at the age and I never was I was I refused to go back. So I ended up like, getting my own place and do my own thing. And they were tripping out. They were like, he's still living used to traveling. Like
Unknown Speaker :how even me when I before I moved in with them. I was like, looking at him. I'm like, What do you do? Everybody like everyone like,
Unknown Speaker :everyone in Florida like me, these moments inside? I have a lot of people that pull me to the side. And they will abro Tell me the truth. Are you hustling? Right? In
Unknown Speaker :a brand new car, you never work do you remember you were talking about different streams of income.
Unknown Speaker :I read this book called thinking Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill in the 90s. And it was saying that you have to have seven streams of income. I didn't understand that. So how the hell am I have seven she's a Falcone break, and fight. I don't know what to do. I know magic, but nobody's gonna hire me doing that. Like, what am I gonna do? So I started like, kind of branding myself in the sense that word didn't even exist, I think. Now's that you hear them
Unknown Speaker :burn themselves. Yeah, but
Unknown Speaker :it was like, Well, if they don't hire me as a magician, they're hiring me as a baby boy or breakdancer? Because I always have to seek break this people don't understand what I'm saying. They don't hire me is that they'll hire me as a teacher to teach. Or I don't know an acrobat something or magic. But that was always in the back because I didn't think people will hire me for that. From 2010 on the past 10 years, magic is getting bigger. So now you get hired for Magic either. The DJ came in while the DJ is his early 90s because I was always shadowing my boy always helping him with the crates up to building coordinate different parties, and always looking at what he's doing, which we could get that back into that but you guys were asking me about my parents. They look at me like, I'm not doing anything, right, like a waste of time. Like you use wasted college and they don't understand that. You could actually be somebody like or be your own boss or like, they never understood the entrepreneurship. They don't understand. They just
Unknown Speaker :know although his dad is a taxi driver now.
Unknown Speaker :We both
Unknown Speaker :and they both make kind of like the same way as he is. He's driving is gonna get his money. He makes his cut and he takes it home. And then he files a sack the same thing that we will be doing to. So but they don't wrap their head around
Unknown Speaker :how they pay him. And I remember when I first when I when I came back for the two weeks to hang out with my family, my dad sat me down he was like, you really doing this I can't believe you like, like the college and all that you're doing this, that you need a good job to have a social security. So when you're 65 and can take care of you and the whole thing. I was already so knowledgeable because I'll be on tour with five percenters. We were people that knew like stuff that I never knew about. Dan even learned in college. And they, I remember his shout out to that as he goes by doc. He lives in New York is a DJ, Dr. Blend freak. Top DJ. He's been at the funk box. He said he's been around for years. And this dude told me he said, bro, are you 65 the inflation is going to be so high that we're going to get that Check. It's not gonna even you can afford it. As a matter of fact, your debt How old is he? I forgot how old My dad was at that time. He's like, let your dad know, tell him to do that. As a matter of fact, when your debt is 65 ask your dad if he could retire, and if he's if he's gonna be okay. And I remember saying, oh, man, it's gonna be a long time from now. My dad turned 6513 years ago, before I got here. I remember. He turned 65 and I sat down with my dad, I go, dad, so you're gonna retire? No, you mean I'm gonna retire. You said that you when you get 65 and, Oh, I can't retire. Well, how am I gonna live like $2,000 I can't do that. And I said, You remember that? I told you that remember? So and then we ended up like, talking. And he's like, You know what? I remember that. You said that to me. And I said, you see, I wasn't wrong. And I don't know. Anyone that works the real job because my sister has an amazing job. My dad, my brother has an amazing job. They follow the nine to five, they follow the whole thing
Unknown Speaker :from I mean, even as an entrepreneur, like you still have to have a plan for retirement. Yeah. Right. You know, like, it's just just because you don't have any. I mean, it has to do
Unknown Speaker :with investments, things, residual income, things that you could get paid while you're sleeping.
Unknown Speaker :Like there's there's just more ways to do yeah, there's more
Unknown Speaker :ways Justin and his is even more open than just being in a cubicle, and retiring and dying. Right and there. You can get that time back those 40 hours or 60 hours or 70 because I've heard people work that much. You're not going to get back. I love what I do. And I'm going to continue to do this to the day I stopped breathing. Entrepreneurship. Why? Because I have all the time and time you can get that back. money you can get it. But this time you can't the freedom that I have the children that wherever want to go, if me and her decide to say, you know what, let's stack some money up three months in is going Europe and chill for three months and come back. He says can you do that? I know I can't take them months off. I can't you know that this is sick days and the whatever, which sometimes I don't even understand how that all that works. That is the difference. Now you have that stable income that comes in. I might be struggling here and there. But that struggle kind of feels good. It kind of feels good because it kind of like pays off with the time that I have off. I don't hate on the nine to fivers. More power to them. I respect those people.
Unknown Speaker :Hi, yeah, I can an entrepreneur doesn't necessarily mean you're working less. Yeah, like usually you're working. You're working more. Yeah, you're gonna be putting way more hours and you have way more
Unknown Speaker :So now only way more hours, you have to put way more value on what you're doing. Yeah, because if you don't put way more value what you're doing, people are gonna hire you with the value that you give him. It's simple as that. It's difficult cuz I have my nine to fiver friends and family and they look at me like if I'm an alien. So how do you do this? They've tried it and they go back. They're like, I can't do that. Well yeah,
Unknown Speaker :because it takes a strong crazy entrepreneurship is like all mindset. Yeah, you have
Unknown Speaker :to have it in I remember her and I getting together and her living the nine to five job and she hurt literally asked me are you drug dealer?
Unknown Speaker :No, and I did and I thought I would have to be drugged yeah
Unknown Speaker :like how was it that I was working so many hours nine to five and then you know what I mean? Like he was just had all the time in the world. So we were we went to Dr. This is the first time I got out of the country me going over there. I was like, oh my god like a blew my mind like I was working my to five job in a partnership took what we call sales. I took a week off. And then I go over there I got to come back and I'm heartbroken because I'm like, I do not want to go back home. And he's he's not coming with me. He's staying because I'm staying. I'm like, why aren't you coming? He goes, I'm staying I don't gotta go. I'm gonna stay. And he stayed and I got on the plane. I cried the whole way. But this is the way officially together. Yeah, we were. We were I was crying, crying, crying and I got home and I went to work and I was like, so sad looking out the window. Like, this is my life. I was just like, I can't do that guy. quit my job. I got bills. I got what am I gonna do my life? Like, how am I gonna make money? I don't know how to do this. So then he's talking to me on the phone on my lunch break. And I'm in the car driving. And he's just saying like, yo, okay, just like if you don't want to be there, then just don't be there. So choice. I'm like, it's not a choice. I have to work. I have to report to work. What do you mean? Like, are you crazy? You know, and I'm here like driving and I see on the wall and big like, right phe letters black paint says quit your job.
Unknown Speaker :Like she thought I did.
Unknown Speaker :He's like, no, what are you talking about? Like there's this wall and it says quit your job. He's a regular
Unknown Speaker :font letter and graffiti.
Unknown Speaker :Was this guy. No, trust me. That's not me. And I said, babe, that's the universe.
Unknown Speaker :On the wall.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :I literally felt like the right is at the wall.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah. I just didn't go and they're like, Kayla, where are you? I was like, stuck gonna come in. Are you serious? I'm like, Yeah, I just don't think this is working out anymore. And they're like, oh, okay, you know, and then that was it. And after that, I was like, Oh my god, what am I gonna do? When
Unknown Speaker :I when I came back and I saw her, and she quit her job. She look like the most scared person.
Unknown Speaker :Like, I'm gonna die like like, how
Unknown Speaker :are we gonna pay rent
Unknown Speaker :And I said we just gonna do it how we just gonna do it?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah and it was literally me finding every single job was this oh seven
Unknown Speaker :yeah like all of those seven That's the last time you were
Unknown Speaker :modeling dancing breaking I
Unknown Speaker :said baby doing it all the time cuz I literally told us a baby right now right all your skills things and all of everything that'd be my baby could be a model you gorgeous can be a model can be a no mas trust me that's part of them easily be a model. You're gonna be a dancer, what else you you could be freaking puppy you could you could be your modeling and voguing
Unknown Speaker :Oh, I was like,
Unknown Speaker :so there's like, yeah,
Unknown Speaker :there's that and she's like, well, you're like one of the first out here that I saw. That was wack.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, yeah, I threw myself into anything and everything
Unknown Speaker :I wanted to ask because you're both entrepreneurs. Maybe top two things that you would tell someone that is wanting To be an entrepreneur,
Unknown Speaker :my top two has to be try everything. That's good. No, yeah, you have to try everything. Even the things that
Unknown Speaker :even if you fail,
Unknown Speaker :well, besides even if you fail, even the things that you may not feel comfortable doing, like put yourself there first before you psych yourself out and say, Oh, no, I would never do that. Because there's a million things I said, I will never do that. But given the right circumstances, given the right amount of money, I was like, You know what, it's not that bad, like, and then you just get it done. And after the fact, then you could say, you know what, I feel really horrible. I'm never gonna do that again. But at least you tried it. And then you can say it again, or people love and say, Oh, my God, I This wasn't anything. I don't feel anything. This is great. Let me keep going with it. And, you know, you could go forward and it could take you to that next milestone that you need to get to, instead of having like that plan of saying, this is the way things are supposed to be like just try it first, and then figure it out. You know, and see if it's for you. That's one of the takeaways. And the second one is to always invest in yourself to make yourself smarter, faster, bigger, whatever it is invest in yourself, which means also like the mentorships, and coaches and anything that's going to help take you to that next level, investing yourself could be books, people, mentorship experiences, all of that. So it's like, invest in yourself and try everything.
Unknown Speaker :What I was saying the two of them, she kind of basically said, Really, two good, important factors of that. First one, I will say, How bad do you want it? And I've had friends and family come up to me and ask me, Hey, bro, I want to live the life that you live like, do you fly, you drive and go anywhere you want? And you're like, How can I do that? Immediately I go, how bad do you want it? I used to tell her. How bad do you want it? How bad Do you want to quit your job? How bad do you want to get that beautiful house? How bad do you want that car? How bad do you want that financial freedom? Or does it have to be financial freedom, it could be freedom itself, in the sense of time of having the most time as you can because not everyone wants money. Some people are chasing the peace of mind. Some people are chasing silence. You know, some people are chasing noise, they want the attention. They want these lights and they want everything on top. So how bad do you want it? Once you figure out how bad do you want it? And you actually know what you want to do? Because that's another one too. Some people just don't know what they want to do. Yeah, so I say to try that's why she says try everything. But it's mainly How bad do you want it? That is the fuel to your fire.
Unknown Speaker :In your WHY?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, that why they like why would it do It's like how I why I really want to live like this. I constantly remind myself every single day why I'm doing this, you know how bad I want this. That's like mainly how bad you want it. The second one is, don't listen to people that have never done it.
Unknown Speaker :Literally are people that even done it too, though?
Unknown Speaker :No, no, no, you can listen to the people that have tried it. But the people that have never tried it, they have never taken that leap of faith. They have never attempted it. Be honest with yourself before being honest with them and tell them dude, you've never done that. So you're giving me your fear. That's a fear that you have to put you might fail, you might lose your house. You feel that way. Once you figure out how bad you want it, you're not going to lose your house. Because the number one thing is how bad you want it. If you really think about how bad you want your windmill how bad you wanted, the flares or how You hate yourself a lot. You might probably broke things you were you kept going. You ended up learning these things.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, not for nothing. But I always think about that, like the day that I actually did a windmill, that I was like, Oh my god, I did it, you know, and like doing the wrong thing over and over and over and all of a sudden, one day that leg just swiped right through. So like, holy shit, I did it.
Unknown Speaker :So then it's like, the same applies is like so
Unknown Speaker :the first one is, How bad do you want it? And the second one is the 10,000 hour rule. You have to apply that. It doesn't work. If you don't apply the 10,000 hour rule like and it's like DJ crap scratcher. I don't get it. But how many times you practice a crab scratch? It could be it's those are the main tool like that I could give to anyone is how bad do you want it and that 10,000 hour rule, that is key. Because after that, they both help each other, because you got 10,000 hours. And even though when you master it once you become the master, you're going to realize how bad you want it. Because then you can hit it. And as a marketer, you're going to want that shit. Then it goes back to how bad you want it. And then you didn't even do what you wanted to do. Now you change it. Like she said, You try it on, you try it on, and you can be scared of fail. If failing is an extra step 10 you move on. Failing isn't a bad feeling is amazing. I love failure, failure. selimiye don't go that way. It's the same again. Just try again. It's the same with the women. You whip and you hit your knee on the floor hard as hell. That's a fail. It hurt. Don't do it again. go the other way. And then you go and then oh, I did it. And then once you get the windmill you are So how bad you want it? You might quit you're not even want to do the women anymore. You know, how do you really want this? I got it. I don't really want this. But it takes the how bad you want in a 10,000 hour. And that's mainly what I keep. And if this a third, keep all the negative people, all the naysayers, all the people that can fuel your fire, that fire is lit if someone comes and starts trying to like turn that fire down. And even if it's a little bit, I know you know, I love you. But let's keep the distance because right now I'm trying to do a big bonfire and you keep pissing on it and I
Unknown Speaker :like like, up somewhere else not here.
Unknown Speaker :So those are the three that I can actually say, that are very important for entrepreneurship or it doesn't even have to be there. It could be anything in life in a relationship or marriage.
Unknown Speaker :So how did the two of you meet?
Unknown Speaker :at a practice? I think, yeah, right out of practice. So we were, I would say, Yeah, my version. So I was dating Cousteau for my one ad. And I was 18 years old at that time, and me and him were kind of outgrowing each other at that point, we were just like a little weird. And breaking has always been an outlet, like an emotional outlet for me. So at that time, I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna get my independence back. I'm gonna go to practice. So then I started going to practice a Valencia College, and on one of those practices, flashes there. And he was, I was not interested at all, but he just guided the whole practice. And he was really like crazy drill sergeant, you know, and he like, controlled the whole practice. And then he's like, Come on, let's go. 5678. We're all practicing. We're all getting down. We're all going crazy. The crazy Practice I ever had. And at the end, of course, I don't want to leave right away. But then he started doing like magic tricks. And that's when he like, that's when I was like, Oh, he's different. Like, who is this guy? Like, who What? I don't know, I was so intrigued by him. And then from then on, like, we were in the parking lot, and he's like, I don't know, it was like this. This this thing of him just like so. What's up? So what now? And I'm like, I have a boyfriend. I can't now this is just a test. You're testing me. I'm not gonna go there. And he's like, Well, come on, get my number, you know, and then we exchanged numbers. And then like, right, as soon as we both entered our cars, like we're both calling each other right away and started talking and like, probably a week later, I broke up a cuso and then just continued talking to him. You're still talking. We're still talking talking. Now, but it was I mean, yeah, but it was years of us talking because it wasn't even official until like later on. From so from like 18 to 22 was when finally like we said, okay, like,
Unknown Speaker :thousand to 2007 2007 that's when we really like, officially word like together. But we I didn't even ask her I was just like, a natural thing. They were like, okay, we're together, which is a big story between 2006 2007 you guys could carry on to it
Unknown Speaker :trust me that they
Unknown Speaker :were people battling for you. I remember yeah going
Unknown Speaker :yeah like I was in like a movie. She was like one of my sisters you know like she was just see her and I just didn't really know what's going on. But then I'm laying all these guys battling for
Unknown Speaker :her. like is this battle because everyone was like and that was the point I was like, actually organized the battle.
Unknown Speaker :Sir, you like
Unknown Speaker :to say, yo, you're going to the battle don't fight. Yeah. They were like really into it. And
Unknown Speaker :I was like, that was Jews. And
Unknown Speaker :it was weird because I feel like it was the excuse they needed right to do that. Right. You know, because I don't really think anyone really cared.
Unknown Speaker :And I have footage.
Unknown Speaker :Because I always have a camera. And me where I've always just, I've always been so private about my life. So it's not like, you know, I've kind of like what is going on? Why are they so involved in like, what I'm doing right? Why do they care so much, you know, and because they were just battling separately, because he was like my sensei. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker :you know, and it will drop her with flash because flash has was always kind of like incognito and Rohan really knew that we had something going on to me I just remember drove the time. It was crazy battles. Who saw and, and it was because that's in 2004 or five. And right before I left in the tour, she her and I were kind of talking And then I was like, Yo, I think Jules likes you. I was like trying to get away from me. Also, you know,
Unknown Speaker :weird. I'm like, why are you doing that like
Unknown Speaker :that me because I noticed it was, she was a very young minded and she was like for meals like I'm just gonna really hurt her. And not only that I was like all over the place with girls and traveling. I was touring all the time. And I wasn't even living here yet. So I was like, What am I gonna do just break her heart and then that's what's gonna end I was 19 years old. Then it was like so much drama. That I was like, Yo, I don't even want to be part of this now. Because there was so much drama between like, he wanted to get back with her. I don't know what was going on. The point is, I didn't really I would say Yo, this is the leave all this drama to somebody else. Hey, Jews, you like her? You know you guys should hook up. I don't really like I want to I want to do nothing with this. So right before I went on tour,
Unknown Speaker :She was like hanging out or hanging out all but they were hanging all the time and naturally the friendship were just like, Well, whatever went for it kusa found out he got pissed. Yeah. And then all hell broke loose. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :outboard, not even caring. Like it's already like done with them like, I used to see her and we were met cool. I was like, also you didn't Okay, that's cool like nothing was happening, but I saw your eyes like, she really wanted to be with me but I knew that she kind of said it through her actions. But I was like, Nah, she's not ready. Like there's no way. But I knew there was the potential there. I knew there was something. I don't know what it was and there was something like the way we will look at each other. It was like something is there, maybe not right now. But something is there. So I was like, You know what, I don't have nothing to do in Orlando. I'm moving on here. So I ended up moving to Sarasota. I left. I left everyone out here and I moved alone to Sarasota. to just do my own thing that was out there for a year and a half. And
Unknown Speaker :the scene
Unknown Speaker :was crazy because I would drive back. And they've, too This is too much rivalry. Yeah, this is 2006. So it was like, a lot of rivalry from backyard funds. My one at all these people like it was an ingredient. Like everyone was like battling and they will always battle at the spa, aka lounge. And the fact that I was like, kind of one of the oldest. Well, I was the oldest of all of them. I will just see it as like, wow, this is dope because this is still hip hop. Even though this drama and this people cursing each other people want to fight. But I what my role there was like, yo, you don't need a fight. So years passing. And I was like, You know what, it's too much drama. I'd rather be away. Plus, I was like, at my peak of my career dancing. I had a lot of money I was telling. I was like, let me do my own thing. So I moved to Sarasota While I was out in 2006, all these two battles things happen anyway. I was on aim a messenger that time and I remember I was talking to Oh man, he's living in Atlanta. Yo, Samantha Yo, when you ever you ever gonna move back to Atlanta now, man, yo, guess what saw I'll say Who? You are so Kayla, innocent. What? Damn I haven't seen that girl forever. Say yeah, man. Like, as a matter of fact, she's single. And I said, What?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, do she's single she was a jerk. I deliberately told Oh, man, don't tell anyone up single I just wanted that means.
Unknown Speaker :I want it to stay that way. I want everyone to stay away from me and just like me be by myself. And then they're in the aim just like texting. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :And just
Unknown Speaker :and immediately when I told them I'm like, Yeah, don't tell anyone. He goes, Well, that's gonna be really hard for you. You know? Cuz I mean, you're a pretty girl. Like they're going to talk to you. I'm like it.
Unknown Speaker :So I'm talking to a woman and he hands me up, right? They're
Unknown Speaker :talking about blah blah blah and he's the NSA and also your oh how she looked bro yo she looked like more grown up to like she don't look like a little girl anymore not real yeah bro like yeah she looked like she looked dope bro like you got to see her again as if really she looked like an adult like older yeah man and then also okay cool and I swear to you right there
Unknown Speaker :I like to you know like when people sign on right
Unknown Speaker :like the like the dog crawl and I looked and I said yo she just signed on a signed off and on again and he's a yo hitter up I said nah nah Come on do hitter up dude. You know you want to I do but come on, man. Like what she's gonna curse me out something man. I literally just disappeared. And I'll say you know a fucking when I went boom, hey, if she didn't respond for like, 20 minutes and then she
Unknown Speaker :remember I was living in an apartment with Natasha Okay, I was like me, Natasha, and this girl Kim and we were just all living together and I was in peace. I got rid of the boy and I was like, I'm done.
Unknown Speaker :Yes. Hey, how you doing? What's up? How are you doing? Blah blah, where you are where you been? Are you moved to Tampa like, people say I was in Tampa? Because Sarasota Tampa. Sounds like now I'm in Sarasota, blah, blah. And I said, Dude, like, sup where you up to where you doing? She didn't want to give me that much information. And then I was like, Yo, I want to see you girl. Like I was just straight up, like I haven't seen forever want to see you. She's like, it's all good. You know, I'm just doing my own thing, bro. And I said, Okay, that has nothing to do with me wanting to see. Like, I want to see you like this weekend and it was like a Thursday. And I was like on Saturday.
Unknown Speaker :Every single excuse. I was just like, I'm working.
Unknown Speaker :I'm working. Are you working Saturday? No, I'm not working but I don't have no gas money. I don't have no gas. I have nowhere to stay.
Unknown Speaker :Oh, I got a hotel for you. I'm like
Unknown Speaker :so I agree. I said, Come on, you got to come. I will give you a key to the room. I'm going to be working because I was doing I used to work at a gentlemen's club as a DJ. And then I told her I said, Hey, I'm gonna be working. But I already got a hotel. There's going to be key at the front door. I told him your name and everything. You're going to arrive there way before me because I'm still going to be working. And then after that, you show up, you get the key, and you chill you wait for me, and after that, we just go out and hang up. And then I remember calling the front desk or did they pick up the key is a Yep, yeah, she's here. And that is
Unknown Speaker :crazy in my head throughout that whole time I'm like, he doesn't like me. You know, like in my head I'm like, he doesn't like me like the whole all those years and my kids I'm like, man, there's no way he could like me like he doesn't and he would show me otherwise he would be like yeah, hook up with it now just go withdrawals and now do this. And I'm like, why would anyone that likes you treat you that way? Like I didn't understand it. And even then I'm just like, don't wait. He likes me. This is so weird This is so
Unknown Speaker :strange. So I saw this Saturday night fusing Sasa club. We danced like crazy, like
Unknown Speaker :I didn't know you called the hotel like to see if I picked up the key like, I wouldn't think you know what I mean? Like I would just do
Unknown Speaker :that expense. And I don't want to feel the heartbreak of getting to the hotel when it didn't pick up the key. So,
Unknown Speaker :so I didn't know ahead of time. I have my own place. I just didn't want her to go to my place yet. So she feels like you're I don't see you that way. Like, Oh, cool. So we ended a party that whole night, whatever, we got super wasted. And then like, we just kept, she wouldn't the next day home. And every day we would just call each other colleagues.
Unknown Speaker :So then he would actually come and visit. So this is where the difference where the shift happened where I felt like he never liked me right then now he was like, I'm going to go and see you, right? Yeah, I'm gonna go and stay with you. I'm going to go take you out to dinner like and now he's actually like paying for the bill. I'm like, Whoa, I think he really does. Like me, cuz now he's acting like this. You know, I said
Unknown Speaker :every week and I'm gonna show it for Sarasota driving driving up the janitor house every like two and a half hours. Yeah, yeah. So the half hour, every weekend sometimes in the week when she was often I would just come and see your comments here for like, about two or three months, like, on and off, on and off like that. And then I was like, Yo, I'm moving to Orlando. Like, this is a my mind. I was like, This is the reason Like I said, I know I really liked this girl. And then I was like, Yeah, what if I moved to Orlando, like, this week? She said, what was the Yeah, I'll move to Orlando right now. Like you tell me, you know, you know what, I'll leave right now in a move to Orlando. I'll leave everything behind. She say whatever.
Unknown Speaker :Okay, and so my mom's another email series. So she's got an apartment. She's like, yeah, move you in. Right, right.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah. And I literally say thank you. You know anyone that's like has an apartment. Come on my mother's a property manager. What? Tell your mom right now if she got an apartment, and then she spoke to the F. You just gotta pay 900 bucks and you you you move in tonight? I said why I drove? Where are their gate? $99 she gave me the keys. Empty apartment. I'm gonna land on the window. And then and then she's like, her mom was like so freaking sweet. She's like, oh my gosh. Are you moving here? That's so awesome. You know what? Downstairs is an apartment to the left everything brand new. They just dipped. I don't know what happened. They got so physical pads. You could take it off.
Unknown Speaker :Yes. apartment.
Unknown Speaker :carrying it from one.
Unknown Speaker :I literally moved in apartment.
Unknown Speaker :Then I was now I have my apartment in her, her mom's property, lake where she works. And she will see me every single day, every single week, come back from work, go to my house, go to work, come on, go go to my house. And then I call and I have, I'm talking to my mom and mom. She's like, let me talk to her. And then she talked to her. She's like, his parish is like, why don't you? Why have you guys see each other every day? Why don't you just move in with him? And I'm like, well, Hell no, just because you're saving the money. Like why is she still driving over there? And I'm gonna hold on while you said that. So, to make the long story short, I went to Dr. Weil before went to Dr. Crazy drama happened between her and I will skip that. But we were still dating so it wasn't like dating, dating. We were just, you know, messing around, whatever she always come. It was an official and then I literally broke her heart. You know, I just, I just screwed up.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, he grabbed it. He squeezed it, threw it on the floor ran it over. So I was like,
Unknown Speaker :being single mount apartment. I stood have made her official. And I always used to tell her Hey, just so you know, we're and we will be around everyone, and nobody will ever know. We'll be in a cipher and nobody knows. Even my own friends are like, yo, you hooking up? Nah, man. Come on. We're like, best friends. So everywhere we go, Oh, that's it. No, no, we're best friend. She always say that. Oh, no, we're best friends. We're cool. Cool. So I ended up hurting my best friend. And because I hurt her so much. It was supposed to happen. Because I think if if, if it wasn't supposed to happen, me hurting her that much. I wouldn't feel the pain of hurting hurt that much. Because I would have just kept being But because I broke her heart so bad at that moment, it made me realize how much I liked her. Because she was hurting and it made me feel horrible. Like I was like, because I remember hurting other girls. And it didn't bother me. They still cry, throw themselves on the floor. There were sight and whatever cry. I don't really care. But when I saw her crying, she lost it. It destroyed me like I was like, Wow, well, there was a moment where I was leaving the scene.
Unknown Speaker :The scene and I went to get in my car, and I had my soul together. I was just like, whatever I'm leaving. I don't need you. This is what I needed. So I can walk away from you. I'm done. I got in the car and my car doesn't start.
Unknown Speaker :Just like all right.
Unknown Speaker :take you home.
Unknown Speaker :No, I'm gonna call my dad. I said, All right, Carmen. So she called her dad, her dad couldn't pick her up or whatever. And I said, Hey, I'm gonna take you home. It's okay. I'll take you home and if you want to come and pick up your car tomorrow, so I drove all the way from Ottawa spring all the way to her house in a you know, of course, silent treatment, quiet.
Unknown Speaker :It was the way you know how, what that does, like when you're like, I hate this person. This person did me so wrong, and I have to receive a right because there's no Uber at that time.
Unknown Speaker :like Uber, yeah. Then I'm like, yeah, just take me home.
Unknown Speaker :Yes, I take you home with her parents for like three hours. And then I went back home then the next day. I meet her dad for the first time.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, cuz my dad's helping me with the car and the battery and I'm like,
Unknown Speaker :Can I go downstairs? immediately.
Unknown Speaker :I was feeling
Unknown Speaker :so job so yeah, so your car's working. You want to come upstairs and just chill and talk? No, I'm gonna go home. Yeah, she ended up going upstairs and chilling and talking and said, Listen, I'm leaving to the Monica repo for like a month. And I'm gonna be back.
Unknown Speaker :Man like, yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker :And then I say, Don't worry, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a nice person. I want to be good. Well, so I saw like a loss like, that's it I'm done. Like, it's whatever. So I went to Dr. In every single day, I was just calling her corner corner. So what I didn't tell her was like, so many beautiful girls out there and all of the one and a couple me and all like every time I see these girls, I will get so mad. It was it was the strangest feeling that I've never felt in my life. Like, these girls will tell me a a ring you know, like they see me as an American and I'm like, I'll literally like literally kept like, a feeling of like, just anger will come And I'm going to just leave me alone. But then seconds later I'll see in my mind her crying every time these a lot of girls in it will be like, kill his face crying cuz she's currently ill. And it was just it was like stabbing me like literally I felt like this is bad. So one time one one time I was having dinner with my family was sitting down and I'm like I tell my mom and mom if I pay for your flight to go to Florida when you go now you wanna I said I really want you to meet a meet described thing. She's the one in the all star laughing Kumar, what's the word? You're You're like all over the place with how many girls I've met through you around like no, no, seriously. Seriously, I've never said this. I was like mom, every time I introduced to the girl, what do I say when I go in the house. She said, Oh, this is my friend. And I said now this is I never introduced you to her as a My friend like, this is the girl that like, as a matter of fact, I love her. She's like water, like didn't believe it until a year whatever you just like your uncle my uncle's a big time player. And I was a no seriously salsa. You know what I'm gonna buy the tickets. So I ended up buying my daughter, my dad and my mom a flight to Orlando. I changed it because they were going to go to New York, so I changed it. I didn't care if they were upset. And I say before you guys go to New York, you guys got to go to Florida. And then I called her parents and told ya, I'm here,
Unknown Speaker :month after all that craziness. And then he shows up again from Dominican Republic with his mom, his daughter that I've never met before.
Unknown Speaker :And I'm sitting there like at the table with my mom and my stepdad, my brother and I'm kind of like what is happening like, why am I sitting here with these people? Is it gonna propose to me like what is this
Unknown Speaker :right? This is around late September. Then they're all in my house. Yeah, this
Unknown Speaker :dinner, hang out and then his mom starts talking to me like so why don't you guys move in with each other? You guys can help each other. I actually told him that I'm kind of like
Unknown Speaker :you are like, you could convince.
Unknown Speaker :He wouldn't be like, talk to her. Like you have to please.
Unknown Speaker :Her like, Hi. And then they bought like two weeks later, right or something?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, yep. Then you're like, why don't you move on with me? I'm just like, oh my god, what am I doing? Me was like, don't do it.
Unknown Speaker :October 1 2007. He moved in with me that day. And that's when I was like, yo, the reason why you're here in prom, my family and all that. You freaked out. I know that but it's because I love you. That's the first time I tour. But that year, that's when I was I have never felt This field This is weird. Because my cousins would like to who's wrong with you? Because all my all my cousins, they will immediately go to resorts party. Go everywhere. Is that? Is that like a you know, because there's a stereotype with Dominican men.
Unknown Speaker :That's the stereotype that is
Unknown Speaker :that they can't be faithful. That's true. Mm hmm. That's what would
Unknown Speaker :this cultural thing Yeah. It's a
Unknown Speaker :cultural thing. How would you say the machismo Yeah, like, it's like we're, we're we're raised. And I could tell you from my own dad, my uncle's, the neighbor, anyone? You you're a little kid. You're watching your dad with different women. You're watching your uncle's with different woman. And then if you have one, and you're all lovey dovey, they will. They will like pull you to the side be like, Hey, what are you doing? What are you what are you doing? Like, why are you just with that girl, right? Are you getting soft? Kinda like that, you know, we get Raise with that machismo that is difficult and then then you lose your friends. Like literally I saw everything changed. From the moment that I was telling my close friends my best best friends. They were like mine. They were like my writer die that we will go clubbing. Every night we'll go get different girls and all that. And then I was like, usually the one that was always there. Come on. Yo, this mat girls here. Let's go here. And then I'm the one like, Nah, man, I don't want to go with it. Why? No, yo, it's gonna be mad girls, and I mean, I don't really care about all them stupid girls. What? Who are you like do you so like they started tripping out, especially my family. My uncle's my friends out there in the ER like my cousins. They were pushing your daughter, your daughter, my own daughter. She's like, I can't believe this. You stupid ugly. I felt pushed away. Like my family when I hit the pendejo like, but I convinced them bottom line and I proved it I was a yo And from that day on like it really changed with all my friends to this day your school clothing all of them they don't even call me anymore to you're gonna invite him Come on dude. He's worked
Unknown Speaker :and I said I like being loved
Unknown Speaker :I never I never had the feeling that I could say that back then. But then I realized I was like, This is awesome. This is really though like what me anytime you want so good. As long as
Unknown Speaker :it's like me pushing him like Go
Unknown Speaker :back. Go like go your boys go go clubbing go do you tingling around.
Unknown Speaker :I don't want to do that for what Do they? Because all of them are single. They can bring me back there. But I'm not going to have a good time. Unless if they're all going to be like, between the boys having a good time amongst us, right? That's what usually the greatest times I've had when my close friends is right here. Exactly where we are right now. having a conversation like this is an amazing moment here. Like this is unforgettable. Because with 2020 It's crazy to say,
Unknown Speaker :it's so crazy.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, it's funny. It's why this doesn't exist anymore. Right? It's rare. Like it's very rare. And I try to convince my friends that Yo man this
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, no, I'm over.
Unknown Speaker :She knows that I've gone to they invited me for a little celebration of somebody or birthday. Is there at the VIP bottles in this post it up? It's so dumb.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, they just like walk in. They stand there. Like he really knows like, exactly what What's gonna show up, you stand there, they have the bottle and then they just look around you.
Unknown Speaker :Like, grab their hand. And these are the guys that I grew up with. They're all fighters like real real trained fighter. That's crazy. guys get silly things happen. A girl this that and then it's either gonna be these guys are all gonna leave with a girl who we all gonna end up fighting. I just don't want to be part of it. So it's been like that. So 30 years together and still pushing
Unknown Speaker :Congrats. I can I can relate a lot with after I met candy. I didn't realize that at the time as much. I was still in that habit of going out with my boys all the time. Because, you know, it becomes what you do with them. And then I realized myself in that situation standing in the club on a Saturday I'm looking around like this Really weird.
Unknown Speaker :It is.
Unknown Speaker :chasing girls is such a big part of clubbing or was such a big part of clubs.
Unknown Speaker :That is the part of clubs. Yeah, it is like women go to the clubs to hook up woman.
Unknown Speaker :A woman that's your What are you doing? It's like someone catches me in a pizzeria and they go Hey man, you're doing here by pizza.
Unknown Speaker :Pizza. We're doing a pizzeria. I'm just here to my friends wanted.
Unknown Speaker :Like you're in a pizzeria you buy pizza you in a club you I know I did too many years. Most of the guys whoever listens is pockets even attendance guys giving up all our shit.
Unknown Speaker :What an asshole. Hey, they will be there. Sooner or later they will be exactly where I'm at right now. And in that frequency, not not that they lower than me or higher is just a different We're just reading different books right now, I think that's something to within,
Unknown Speaker :like the culture is this idea that you can't be in a healthy relationship. And that's kind of really what we want to share. And that's why we're doing this, this series on power couples. And really, which is amazing as a man is being so open about your relationship because others are going to learn that every relationship is perfect. You can do it also on your own, you know, who were like the most influential people to help you and to help you create create this, you know, this healthy relationship you guys are in?
Unknown Speaker :I'm not gonna lie. We did a lot of work ourselves. Yeah. And I while you know who the teachers were books, you read a lot of books. Yeah. So the books kind of taught us how to communicate with each other better, and to how to create our own rules. Which one which book
Unknown Speaker :would you think which one would be the
Unknown Speaker :first one so this first book he gave to me? And it was all shows book.
Unknown Speaker :Love, freedom and love, freedom and aloneness.
Unknown Speaker :But also Yeah, that was the first time that I when I read that book, I was like, Oh, I understand, right because again, I came from that high school relationship to a rebound relationship to being so emotionally unstable to being taken advantage of being manipulated, feeling that it was okay to receive that from other people looking for validation and other people. That all of that, and even if he was at that moment to say, Kayla, yes, I love you at that moment. I wasn't ready mentally, emotionally, all those things, I was not ready. But him giving me that book, I really started to open up my mind more and say like, oh, there's more to this. It has to be me, has to be the love that I have. Nothing that anyone else can add or give me has to be something that I already have this wholeness. And then in that happiness and that wholeness, then he has that happiness in that wholeness. He's happy being alone. I'm happy being alone. Yeah, and that let's be alone.
Unknown Speaker :She was willing to learn and I was willing willing to teach at the Same time, I was learning through teaching her because while I was teaching and showing her these things, I was also learning it, but I wasn't applying it in the applying part came. She don't know me out on her. We both know that every time we go out wherever we are, half of the people don't even know we're together. First of all, we're not that couple that is like always like PDA. So that and not only that the communication that we have
Unknown Speaker :and I think we've learned a lot from our own parents relationship that's
Unknown Speaker :another thing too because
Unknown Speaker :you know you have for yourself you know and like and why is it that I feel the way that I do is because I feel that way or I've been taught to feel that way Yes.
Unknown Speaker :You know, like I'm abbreviation where there's through DNA or whatever. I don't know what it is. But you bring a lot of baggage from your mom and your dad, even your grandparents. Cuz that happens. There's things emotions, that pop out there. I know for a fact that's not even me, right? But I think it's me. And guess what? Now I have a mirror. The wife, she goes back. What are you doing what? I don't know. And I'm like, and then then I go down, and I and then I do my own soul searching. It could be one night, it could be just me, chillin, she goes to sleep and I'm sitting down out here, you know, just thinking and then I go, oh my god. I remember like in 89 I remember my dad did this and did that. That's why I have this thing. And then I'll talk to my dad and I'll ask him questions. And then when I talk to her, I'm like, yeah, you remember this? It's not even me. Like I like I gotta disconnect from that. And there's a lot of things that are attached to us. It's not only in the spiritual aspect, not in the relationship aspect. Family Relationship is just In general of just the, the way of thinking, because that's very important, because some people have strong beliefs in religion. Some people have, like, distinct so as a kid, you can't let go off. And if you do let go you think they're gonna disown me like it, that's for real, because I felt it in here and there. I do feel it sometimes, just amongst the conversations, not only that when you're in family, and you see couples and couples that are in the family, how they're acting around each other. And then you're like the one that is not acting that way. And all in I know you guys probably got to the you guys give each other the look like
Unknown Speaker :go down. Like
Unknown Speaker :we had a whole conversation just by looking at each other. And that's and that's the beauty of the connection when you start noticing that. Not that you're better than them. Some of them will see you as you're better than
Unknown Speaker :are that you think that you are? Oh, yeah, yeah, I
Unknown Speaker :think they think they have a perfect relationship. It's not that it's just a different awareness. Cuz Yeah, I know some people might pick things and go. I noticed that when you do this and do that she does this. I don't like that. But then I go by.
Unknown Speaker :Does it bother you when I do this? No, it doesn't bother me. Okay. Let's carry on
Unknown Speaker :making your own rules.
Unknown Speaker :Other people's expectation of what they're going through in the relationship. They want to attach it to you. Yeah. Like she said, hard work, and not hard to work with each other. It was hard work individually, right?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, self work, but it's so yeah,
Unknown Speaker :the self work like we had.
Unknown Speaker :And I think that's the part of relationships that people don't like doing is the self work because this is too hard. It's so easy.
Unknown Speaker :working right.
Unknown Speaker :That's the data center. More specially like she had a really big religious,
Unknown Speaker :it's just that it was dogmatic. Like I was like, stuck in dogma. And then once I broke out, I lost my identity within that. There you go, you know. And then it was like breaking my self apart and saying like, wait a minute, why do I believe this? You know, like asking the questions. It's not that he was saying, Oh, this is right or wrong or whatever, but it was more like, he encouraged me to ask questions and then then that I would do the self work. Yeah, because she was up to me, it Why? Feeling the things that I'm doing? or Why do I feel? Why do I have these friendships? Like why do I have and then starting to do that self work? And then before we officially got together, every time I will have a conversation with her. I was having a conversation where I was having a conversation with her at her church and the belief system, the belief system,
Unknown Speaker :and whoever's around her that has all these religious beliefs.
Unknown Speaker :And that's what anything is just not religion, you know, because yeah, it could have been me It could have been right like whatever whatever belief system it was, I was talking to him through that, right, which is a problem. And I will ask, like, once I cut myself out, then I'm like, Okay, I'm myself again, I can think for myself now. Now let's talk. And then now we were able to meet and
Unknown Speaker :that gave me the motivation of going out on my own to find myself. I was searching for love. But I realized that it was like, it has nothing, nothing to do with religion. It had nothing to do with society is truly with the journey with yourself. Because I didn't love myself. I literally, not only I did not love myself. I didn't know who I was.
Unknown Speaker :And that's what that's exactly what that was. Yeah. So once I found out finding out who I was, where do I stand? Why am I attracted? Why do I want these people in my life? Are they really my friends and like, just all of that journey? And it could like I said, it could be the religion, or it could be something completely different. It could be other family members. You know how there's other family members out We'll tell you things about your own relationship. And then you could either listen or not listen,
Unknown Speaker :your your subconscious mind will pick it up and you
Unknown Speaker :have to be strong in a relationship.
Unknown Speaker :But it's mostly knowing yourself. It's
Unknown Speaker :enough awareness. It is self learning things.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, that's, and that's the hard one. Yeah. Learning on learning is a big one. pick up books get uncomfortable on purpose. You know how many books I've read the Holy Quran, the Bible, I've read Buddha stuff I've read every I've read so many things, and I'm uncomfortable reading it. What 300 dragons, what are these people talking about? But it gives me something but then later on a comeback and that journey of like just going through, getting uncomfortable all the time. It makes you grow, it makes you changes. Our journey is most is constantly getting uncomfortable. This getting uncomfortable in in just learning books.
Unknown Speaker :Having uncomfort conversations.
Unknown Speaker :Yes. That's a big one. No, yeah. Oh, that's a super big one. So you guys have a lot of you guys have a lot of dialogue between each other. Yeah. That's, I mean, he talks a lot.
Unknown Speaker :You talk a lot,
Unknown Speaker :taught me how to do that. Yes. Like, okay, talk like you're upset because in the beginning of our relationship, I would have something was wrong with me. And he'll ask me and I'll say nothing, right? Like, what's wrong, Kayla? Nothing, nothing, but he'll see it. So then finally we'll come out. me anything, right? And then there's something days later, I'll come out and he's like, okay, so let me get this straight. You just held on to that for two days, instead of just telling me when it happened, you know, like, at the moment, like expressing it and I'm like, well, because I have to marinate on it. I had to figure out how I wanted to say it. Then I had to think about it and I had to see like how I was feeling about it and like this whole thing. And then he's like, dude, just say it. Just
Unknown Speaker :two days. I would have enjoyed it. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :Is there that moment, and I and I constantly try to practice that? because nobody's perfect. I can see this vibe, man, this this, this just survive. And that's what the yo keep it real you know that whole hip hop keep it real. That word is used to
Unknown Speaker :loosely
Unknown Speaker :yes to lose your keys.
Unknown Speaker :Let's keep it real.
Unknown Speaker :As soon as someone says this keep it real, it's gonna be a lot of bullshit. You don't need to say keep it real. He just, he just saw what it is. So I can not be without expressing how I feel. Because I love myself so much. I love myself more than anyone else in this world. So because I love myself more than anyone else in this world.
Unknown Speaker :I want to make sure I'm good before you And it can be a selfish act. But it's awesome because
Unknown Speaker :it's gonna bring the honest to people, because you're already you already know you're good like you. Like I know that if I'm going to go somewhere I'm like, Alright, I'm gonna do this. I don't like that. I don't like this if, okay, if I see this I'm gonna tell that person that because I don't like that and I want them to know that I don't like that. Because I really don't like that. Like, don't bring that around me like it is coconut tip. Don't bring that around me do like I don't like that. Like, stay away. I will call it out. I will stay sharp. Because who's gonna do for me?
Unknown Speaker :Nobody Nobody knows I would marinate on Oh, like, Wait, hold on.
Unknown Speaker :No, Tommy. Yeah, you gotta like, let him
Unknown Speaker :know. He's like, yo, right then and there. Like, say it. And it's like, Okay, well, I feel X, Y and Z, whatever. And sometimes when you say it out loud, you're like, Okay, wait, no, that's not actually how I feel. I said that. But no, that's not it's actually this.
Unknown Speaker :No, I'm not cursing the person. No, I'm just
Unknown Speaker :leaving. Talking but you can like, and he would kind of coach me through that and be like, okay, speak talk. Is that it? Is that all you feel? Is that the only and then he wouldn't judge me on what I'm saying? No, because they would judge me because if you start talking, but then you're feeling like you're judged, you're not gonna talk. That's why people don't talk to each other in relationship. They're like, no way. I can't say that to him. He's gonna be pissed. Or he's the same way. Yeah, or even again,
Unknown Speaker :we're both different individuals. Both of us have different goals. But we're together is the key communication, honest communication medication, just being really sane, even if it kills you. I know this is gonna and I'll warn the person that it's gonna hurt you. But I gotta be real with you like this is the really care for you, and I'm not judging. This is what I saw. And then, half of the time Most of the time, they're saying, you know what, you're right. I feel that way too. But you got to tell me that.
Unknown Speaker :You don't say like, Yeah, but you know it and I know it. But now we fix it.
Unknown Speaker :How can people find you?
Unknown Speaker :So I have two Instagrams. So, um, I have to because for that reason, because one of them is like my real estate stuff. And so I have just like to keep a real estate so I want to buy and sell Kayla on Instagram. And then I have yoga B girl, which is like more of me. You know where you find out like my yoga stuff might be girl hip hop stuff whenever that comes around. It's like everything that comes in seasons. You see it happening and you're gonna be girl. If you Google flash in the mix all together. My Instagram is gonna pop out. My Facebook is gonna pop up. But mostly, I kind of liked the whole Instagram thing. And even though my name is go by flashback, I use flash in the mix because I'm trying to brand it, because I feel like I'm always in the mix of things.
Unknown Speaker :I appreciate your Facebook group that you created to Yes, though.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, so I started like putting out archives and it's a whole lot of hard work. Yeah. And I'm doing it for free. And I have I have a Korean dude on Instagram that takes all my videos and they'll take that solo, and they'll put her in this room to do hundreds and thousands of followers. And it's it is what it is but because I'm doing like just to put it out there.
Unknown Speaker :So last but not least, we like to round out our podcast episodes with the question what is hip hop to you?
Unknown Speaker :You have another 24 hours.
Unknown Speaker :For quick it's
Unknown Speaker :it's it's a we're living. It's my life. It's hip hop is. Besides being a culture is what I do, how I feel, how I talk, how I walk out how I think Hip Hop,
Unknown Speaker :just
Unknown Speaker :hip hop brings everyone together. Hip Hop for me is like, besides it saving me took me out of the streets and put me on the stage around the world, like, hip hop is a savior man is think it's like the, like, God itself. If it's an entity, it's something that if hip hop touches you, and you really, really want to be part of it. You never gonna leave it. No matter how hard and how many times you try to like say I'm done with this. It will always be there. Because you know when Nasca hip hop is dead. The first time I heard that I was like, whatever. Maybe to you. Because hip hop in reality, the fact that is something you do is something you live. You can leave hip hop for 30 years you come back is still there. So hip hop is not dead because we We all do this, we all leave the scene, you come back is still there.
Unknown Speaker :Hip Hop is, I would say, the one constant in my life. Is that one thing that it's like what you're saying is that one thing that is always there. And it's it's like home base, you know that you can go off and be in your life and go back to home base. So it makes you feel like you're coming back home. So even if you're going in and now between different roles of adulting of like, being a mom or a wife or husband or brother, you could be a toll person. If people took a toll you go work in Publix, but you come back home to your life, which is that hip hop, hip hop is home.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah. Oh, hip hop is home. Word. Thank you so much.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, thank you. We really appreciate it.
Unknown Speaker :Appreciate you guys. This is the first time anyone in the entire world has ever interviewed me.
Unknown Speaker :Oh really?
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, like they're actually interested in knowing who I am and where I come from. And well, I appreciate you.
Unknown Speaker :Definitely have you on again.
Unknown Speaker :Thank you so much to our guests Keyla and Flash for taking the time and being so open while sharing your perspective.
Unknown Speaker :Some of the gems we took away from this interview where
Unknown Speaker :As an entrepreneur, you should try everything before you say no,
Unknown Speaker :Always invest in yourself. Make sure you understand how bad you want something, and then invest at least 10,000 hours into mastering your craft.
Unknown Speaker :In today's world, Freedom is our basic condition. And until we learn to live with that freedom and learn to live by ourselves with ourselves, we're denying ourselves the possibility of finding love and happiness with someone else.
Unknown Speaker :The music was beatboxed by Denis the Menace and produced by Zede. Big shout outs to the homies in Switzerland.
Unknown Speaker :Also a big shout out to Visionary Lifestyle, follow them @VLSclothing on Instagram, and get your quality threads from the best. We would love to get your feedback questions or any suggestions you might have. You can reach out to us on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook @SoulidarityLLC, or via email soulidarityllc@gmail.com
Unknown Speaker :If you liked today's show, please tell a friend about our podcast.
Unknown Speaker :Or as Phife Dawg would say: Tell your mother, tell your father, send a telegram.
Unknown Speaker :In our next episode, we chat with Lito Aguinaga. He is the founder of Soul culture and he is an ill writer, b-boy, community leader and entrepreneur.
Unknown Speaker :Thank you for listening to our podcast.
Unknown Speaker :No seriously though, Thank you!
Unknown Speaker :I am Candy
Unknown Speaker :and I am DJ Razor Cut and this is Souls of hip hop